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11:35PM - a reflective 2011 newsletter....

 “Halfway up the stairs is a stair where I sit.
     There really isn’t any other stair like it.     It’s not at the bottom.  It’s not at the top.
     So here is the stair where I always stop.”
 
I should stop and credit this memorable poem to AA Milne.  Robin (?) sang it on the Muppet Show a few decades ago.   I come from an era when people actually read books you held in your hand instead of the Kindle or Kobe or downloaded whathaveyou. No Virginia, it’s not really a Christmas poem.   This is the time of year when you should find yourself a cozy secluded stair to reflect on where you are going to.  Do you know?  As for me, the answer is probably,   “I left the dishes in the sink.  I just left them there…..”  I quote that at least five times a week.  It means I’m not going left, not going right.  To spell it out, I still don’t know where I’m going to.  I think George has subliminally grasped much from FOLLIES without ever listening to the cast album.  He thinks I’m Losing My Mind.  He also wouldn’t trade me for Anyone Else.  What a woolly!!
 
    Another year has flown by.  Or nine months since the last Seasonal Greeting, emailed  belatedly between Valentine’s Day and Easter. I wrote it last December and just left it there.  I didn’t feel satisfied with it.  2010 was the year of Sondheim.  Sondheim returns to “fix” musicals he’s already finished for posterity.  I didn’t want to send a Christmas Newsletter that I wasn’t satisfied with.  Hope you liked what I eventually sent.    Life IS a work in progress.  I’m in progress.  Without disclosing my age, I feel like I’m Halfway Up The Stairs…or Halfway Down.  I’ve been turning my attention to beginnings lately. And endings.  My parents both died around the age I’m currently facing,  so who knows. ..
 
     Last July, Robert and I attended a Broadway concert produced under the auspices of Garth Drabinsky (currently residing in jail) at a tennis arena.  It was a funny feeling.  Once upon a time, I was responsible for the mail order bookings for Players Tennis Tournament.   I had never actually been to the venue. One night decades later, in mid-July, the tennis court was offering the best of Broadway!  “It’s gonna be a lovely party!”  It WAS a wonderful evening with sparkling performances by Jane Krakowski , Audra MacDonald, Brian Stokes Mitchell, Raul Esparza and uh Martin Short.  I should have written a review so I could re-read it and re-live it.  (Except for Facebook updates, I’ve mostly stopped with the writing) … That night, I wore a tee shirt and shorts,  stomach not so gallantly protruding.   I ran into  Ron and Bruce, I felt embarrassed.  It’s been a few years, and I’d put on a few pounds.  It wasn’t intentional.  It just happened.  Think of  the image of Goldie Hawn’s character in DEATH BECOMES HER sitting in front of the television eating can after can of Duncan Hines frosting.  Okay, it was never like that.  Before you know where you are, there you are.  SIXTY POUNDS HEAVIER than the weight I used to be.    I felt self-conscious that Ron and Bruce should see how fat I’d become.  That night I felt so elated by the concert, I walked home from the subway station.   I vowed I should do this more often. More Broadway.  Also more Walking.   Unless it’s raining/snowing/ or I’m running too late, etc.  We make bargains with our lives.  Anyway, I started walking to the subway in the morning from then onwards, and often the return trip as well.  About 1¼ Kilometer as far as I can measure through Google Maps.  Well, it’s a start.  And it’s not where you start, it’s where you finish.    Sometime in November, the morning walk turned into Jog-Walking.   Maybe George was right—I must be Losing My Mind!   Well, I jog until I’m out of breath, and then walk a spell, then take up the jogging again.  It takes me about four spurts to make it to the subway, and I’ve extended the amount of distance I actually jog.   I’m still haunted with childhood memories of a sadistic teacher named Mr. Pawlak who kicked me in the butt and sneered that I ran like a girl.   Maybe one day I’ll jog the whole thing, but one day at a time.  I also cut out breads, potatoes, rice, Swiss Chalet French fries and Dessert.  Robin was supportive:   “You can always pig out on vegetables!”  
 
    The good news is that as of last Saturday, I’ve lost 29.4 pounds.  Let’s round it off to THIRTY and say I’m HALFWAY there.  HALFWAY DOWN!!  On the other hand, George who insisted we share this diet journey together…..began the journey using his talking sarcastic scales.  Yes, the scales talk back.  “TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS!  IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE ON THE SCALE WITH YOU?”  It was a month or so after we started the diet, George and I went to Ottawa. 
(There’s three giant woolly mammoths outside the Natural History Museum, and apparently scientists want to bring back Woolly Mammoths from fossilized DNA.  Steven Spielberg is planning on a fourth chapter of JURASSIC PARK, and I have the feeling we’ll get our thrills in the theatre first before a real life Jurassic Park.  Meanwhile Bob Barker is paying the Right Price to send the Toronto elephants to an animal sanctuary in California)   Yes, Ottawa.  I’d had this burning desire to return to a place where I’d first attended University.  I expected ghosts and memories and some sort of cathartic experience by wandering the halls, but a lot had changed.  New buildings had been erected.  I noticed the unforgettable permeating odor of marijuana immediately while walking into the main campus residence.  What was once the bar on Saturday night and the Church on Sunday morning had now become a Tim Horton’s.   Later, I walked my feet off in the National Gallery re-visiting canvases that evoked memories and old friends.  Outside, there was a sculpture of a giant spider that seemed inspired by one of the Harry Potter movies.  George liked that one a lot!  Later, when we returned to Toronto, George kept on going and going.  On to Paris, on to Brussels, and then homeward to visit his family in Cyprus!  He got to meet a step-brother he’d never met before.  Sounds like a story arc on DYNASTY….
 
   I missed George during his absence.  Still, one keeps busy.  There’s something wonderful about spending quiet time just pulling out weeds.  People talk to you while you’re trapped between the curb and the sidewalk.  You do learn about what’s going on.  Sometimes you have your own front row seat.  One Sunday morning there was the sound of a shooting in the low-rise across the street, which brought six cop cars and two ambulances.   I thought the neighbourhood was  pretty crime-free.  Domestic violence, presumably is what Mrs. J  thought.     
 
     When you sit quietly pulling out weeds, you mull over thoughts.  Think things through.  It’s calming. Relaxing.  Sometimes song lyrics will stay within you and haunt you.  This was the year LOST HORIZON (the musical)  made it’s appearance on DVD.   Withheld  musical numbers now re-instated into the film.  So I’m pulling weeds and thinking:  “The world is a circle without a beginning and nobody knows where it really ends….”   This is the metaphoric equivalent of sitting halfway up the stairs and wondering what to do with your life.  At least a neater lawn has been accomplished, and if I’m lucky, George would have fresh coffee waiting when I returned. 
 
    We watch too much tv.   Yes, call us Eternal Couch Potatoes.  That’s probably how the Sixty Pounds slowly settled over the years.  This was the year we finished the last episodes of DALLAS.   We’re currently alternating warm-hearted episodes of LITTLE OUTHOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE with catching psychos on CRIMINAL MINDS.  We journeyed  through ALL IN THE FAMILY which I’d never watched before as a kid.  Edith Bunker was actually the wisest of the lot.  Later, I loaned the dvd’s to Eric who watched all ten seasons in a shorter period.  He has more time on his hands now that he no longer works with us.  Eric is still ALL in MY FAMILY, and I’m sure he will do well as he seeks to re-invent his talents.   I’ve also been watching IN TREATMENT.  Very satisfying and fulfilling.  Gabriel Byrne plays a psychologist who treats various patients and you share and suffer though his therapy sessions.  It pushes buttons and touches nerves for me, but doesn’t encourage me to seek a new  understanding or grasp of one’s reality . Sorry, George.   I had the pleasure once of meeting the late Debra Lee Scott through work.  She played Mary Hartman (Mary Hartman!) ‘s slutty sister Cathy.  Cathy’s revelation was:   “The Meaning of Life is what you get when you turn off the television and the stereo!”   We could all learn from this.   We need to go outside and visit our local elephants! 
 
 What else?  I used to attend the opera in person, but found it difficult to stay awake.  Comes from rising at six in the morning.  I’ve sought solace with the LIVE FROM THE MET telecasts they show at CINEPLEX—it’s the Matinees for Mostly Seniors crowd.  I feel like a kid in comparison to mostly everyone else.    As an opera experience, there are Subtitles, close-ups, and a shared communal experience.  I’m getting better at staying awake.   Sometimes with my literate cousin Mary.   Sometimes alone.  Never with George.   It’s all good. 
 
    I’m not a gossip.  But…. the godparents Chuck and John are getting married next September!  Faith is having knee surgery this spring! This was the year George got to meet Carrie Fisher aka Princess Leia !   My neighbour Rose sadly passed away a few months after hitting the grand old age of 90 with a big party! Naomi and Martin are reveling in flower power by attending the current production of HAIR.   Iain moved to the great white north, north of Superior.  Mary always wanted to go to India.  This year, she went.  Jon and Joan are celebrating Christmas on a Bahamas cruise!!  Jacky is pruning exotic trees on Farmville!   Lianne is going to have to find an alternative for Sunday nights when Desperate Housewives goes off the air this spring. Darlene dropped her last name in favour of two previous names.  Alex is also on the metaphoric staircase, but I think he’s going UP.   Mark always reminds me that Prime Rib is on sale the week before Christmas at Metro.  Julia still isn’t ready for Christmas and still has shopping to do. 
 
    We’re not really ready for Christmas, either.  Real Men don’t start shopping until Dec 24^th.  Still, it’s time to get off those stairs, get your act together and head towards the challenges of next year!! Have a merry, woolly Christmas!!
 
 

3:29PM - a very Sondheim Christmas newsletter of 2010..

Has it really been a year since a posting?  Practically.  Didn't even send out a christmas letter to tell about the year that was....

Enjoy the following, that never got sent...

    As Sweeney Todd avows towards the end of Act One, “These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures must be taken!”  While Sweeney is justifying the killing of  innocent people to help his neighbour’s economy, nowadays, everyone is trying harder to survive. Every day a little death of some kind…  My brother lost his job a year ago after many decades with Gulf/PetroCan/Suncor.  My brother in law Jon lost his job in January and is still seeking fulltime employment.  His wife Joan had a number of brain surgeries, and got to appreciate the Mayo clinic.  My other brother-in-law, Murray has been battling cancer.  So far he’s winning!   I sit in a darkened living room and belt out “I’m Still Here!”  to an empty audience. At my humble flat, there’s just my cat!   George is off to the gym.  My neighbour called me in tears and said she only had $17.00 to last her until Thursday, but somehow she and her son made it to the movies twice the following weekend.  Survival is an art, and art isn’t easy….

   We are living in the hills of tomorrow? Good god, it IS tomorrow!  365 days have gone by since my last Christmas newsletter.  I’m one of another hundred people who got off of the train and still hasn’t started their shopping or holiday baking.  Before someone shouts,  “Everybody give a cheer!  Santa Claus is sitting here!”,   I want to ask “How did we get here from there?”   “Why can’t it be like it was?”  It’s been a tough year. The company where I work went through a lot of structural changes   I find out through auto-reply emails to discover co-workers are no longer working there!:!  Sometimes people leave you halfway through the woods.  Sometimes entire divisions or a call center will vanish..  I’m calm, I’m calm. I’m perfectly calm.  You never know who’s NEXT!   Sometimes there’d be surprises like someone who was downsized being re-hired—that happened at least twice.  Then the case of an entire department downsized, and then the decision reversed a week later.  Oops   “How can this be so?  You were dead, you know!”    A few recovered quickly with new jobs elsewhere and bounced back surprisingly quick.  Others are still looking, months later. Brandi, aka  our “Mary Poppins” left half-way through the year.  Brandi was probably the best thing that ever happened to the company.  She helped organize monthly events, integrated the workers from different departments, taught yoga classes, and brought fun and vitality to the workplace.  If you’ve seen MARY POPPINS, you’ll recall Mary trying to be practically perfect and tried very hard not to cry as she left the Banks children.  Life isn’t always like the movies.  Somehow Facebook still keeps a lot of us re-connected. 

   Everyone needs a hobby. Sunday in the park with Gord, you’ll notice I’ve been pulling out dandelions.   George thinks I’m nuts and wants me to see Dr. Shelby (Dr. Shelby is an imaginary character from WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE—you tell me who’s nuts?!!)     I find the pulling of weeds very healing.  First you get a decent pair of garden gloves.  Next, I usually insulate the insides of them with rolled up Bounty paper towels.  Saves on the skin of your hands, Madge!    The lawn outside the apartment building hasn’t been De-Dandelioned properly since it was re-planted five years ago.   I’d plead with Marino, my super for some rain to make the ground more workable.  Marino talks to the Man Upstairs and somehow we’ve had really good luck.  There is something crazy,yet healing about sitting on grass six inches from noisy traffic and pulling out dandelions.  Make Your Garden Grow.  I recommend it.  You mull over it, or a showtune stays in your head for two hours while you work. You de-stress from pressures of work. 

     This was the year of Stephen Sondheim’s 80^th birthday. George and I got on a plane to New York.  I went to see Angela Lansbury in a revival of A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC.  It also starred Catherine Zeta Jones, and it’s currently playing with Bernadette Peters and Elaine Stritch.   I’m tempted to go back and see it all over again.  I also saw the Roundabout’s production of SONDHEIM ON SONDHEIM, It starred Barbara Cook, Vanessa Williams and through the use of video, Stephen Sondheim commenting on his writing practices, his works and his life.  It was terrific.  I read the latest:  a book by FB friend, Mark Eden Horowitz called SONDHEIM ON MUSIC:  Minor Details and Major Decisions.  http://www.amazon.com/Sondheim-Music-Minor-Details-Decisions/dp/0810874369/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1292164356&sr=8-1     Much of the discussion between Mark and Stephen was geared to musicologists.  I don’t read music,(which didn’t stop Mary Martin’s career!)  Still, make the most of the music that is yours!  I found it very enlightening!  Throughout the year, there were numerous tributes and interviews to Sondheim.  Nothing to compete with that twelve hour Wall To Wall Sondheim all star concert from a few years ago.  How could anyone top that?  Still, Sondheim has been pretty ubiquitous as he promoted his own opus:  FINISHING THE HAT, http://www.amazon.com/Finishing-Hat-Collected-1954-1981-Principles/dp/0679439072/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1292177890&sr=8-1-catcorr    soon to be followed with his follow-up, LOOK I MADE A HAT.  In what promises to be a complete collection of his lyrics, Sondheim discusses his art, as well as criticism on Noel Coward, Cole Porter, and Oscar Hammerstein.  It’s on the best seller list!  .  There was a lovely concert telecast on PBS in November with some wonderful performers like Bernadette Peters, Elaine Stritch, Mandy Patinkin, John McMartin and Patti Lupone amongst them.  (if I leave out Patti, Jeff will eventually leave out me!)   I sang along through tears of happiness while George focused on the internet six feet behind me.  http://www.amazon.com/Sondheim-Birthday-Concert-Stephen/dp/B00404ME0G/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1292177851&sr=1-2   Earlier this week, I went to see a local appearance of Stephen Sondheim at the Princess of Wales theatre. (Thank you, Derek, for the heads up!)   Sondheim keeps re-telling his story of how Oscar Hammerstein told him everything one needed to know to write a musical.  Uh huh.    But Steve did elucidate about the original germ of the idea that eventually became his masterpiece  INTO THE WOODS.  The original concept involved putting a bunch of well-known characters from  tv sitcoms (Archie Bunker, Ralph Kramden, Carol Burnett) into a hospital and creating a new story. The concept survived only with everyone’s favorite fairy tale characters, and that became INTO THE WOODS for posterity!  This was also the year FB friend Jane Klain helped bring Sondheim’s buried treasure, EVENING PRIMROSE to a commercial dvd release! http://www.amazon.com/Evening-Primrose-Anthony-Perkins/dp/B0033HKCX2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1292177851&sr=1-1 

     Yes, a very momentous year for Sondheim. Still he always leaves us wanting more. Sondheim needs to finish his second volume, and leave us one more great musical.  Verdi wrote into his 80’s.  This was also a year that my Facebook friends seemed to influence what I read.  Besides Mark’s book, I also read my pseudo-cousin Mary’s book, COOL.  http://www.amazon.com/Cool-Mary-W-Walters/dp/1895836727/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1292178081&sr=1-1  Most of the characters were pretty cool…. As in aloof and detached.  While I ended not wanting to know the ladies who lunched in her collection of short stories, I admired her craft and writing abilities!   Mary also keeps me awake during operas like the recent five hour Don Carlo, but that’s another story, never mind!  I also managed to track down a copy of FB friend Stephen Cole’s THAT BOOK ABOUT THAT GIRL.  http://www.amazon.com/That-Book-About-Girl-Unofficial/dp/1580630766/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1292179248&sr=1-1  Yeah, I love THAT GIRL, and this book tells you everything you ever needed to know about it.  Warning, the sellers from Amazon.COM won’t ship to Canada, so I had better luck with Chapters/Indigo—(Thanks, Katharine!)  I’m currently reading my recent FB friend Peter Filichia ‘s latest homage to the best and worst of Broadway:  http://www.amazon.com/Broadway-Musicals-Biggest-Season-Applause/dp/1423495624/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1292179603&sr=1-1   I’ve read him for years on broadway.com, currently theatremania.com and broadwaymasterworks and he’s wonderful.  So in short, I’m reading a lot and I’ve seemed to cut out my writing.  I’ve eliminated writing reviews and updates in my blog.  I think I felt like Father McKenzie in that Beatles song called Eleanor Rigby.  “Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear….”   I’m barely getting out the annual newsletter and try to keep updates on Facebook.  In the meantime, we try desperately to catch up with television series like  , DEXTER (a modern day Sweeney Todd) , DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (with most episodes named after Sondheim lyrics), and GLEE (in which they occasionally sing Sondheim songs.  Don’t know how we managed every episode of the Dreadful TABiTHA.  Don’t laugh..... 

  For the past two Decembers, I’ve said goodbye to a friend named Sandra.  They die, but they don’t….

   We don’t have FOLLIES  reunions anymore.  The closest we came is when a major star comes to town, and we are all drawn in to the performance.  Barbra Cook came for a one night only, and there was Ron and Bruce, Jim and Colin,  Harvey and Paul, John without Chuck, Bobby Baby, and whatever happened to Peter McD.  (It was the last time I saw Jim--he passed away two weeks ago)  Barbara Cook was pretty damn terrific, still reprising songs from Sondheim’s FOLLIES and managed to entertain a full set at what, 83?!  Angela Lansbury is still making movies at 85!  Elaine Stritch is still Elaine Stritch at 84 and Sondheim’s is 80 as everyone knows.

  So what are my special Christmas thoughts to share?  When life gets tough, pull out your dandelions until you can’t stand it.  Sit in a nice bubble bath and listen to Sondheim, and keep on rolling merrily along as best you can!  Happy Holidays, everyone!! 

10:41PM - NYC 2010

Tales of the City…..

I think it started when George announced he was going to NYC in February and did Robert and I want to join him? I panicked, realizing I didn’t have an up to date passport. I haven’t been to NYC since April 2001 when I went with the godparents and Robert to see the revival of FOLLIES with Blythe Danner, Judith Ivey, Treat Williams, Polly Bergen, Betty Garrett amongst other legendary performers. I think about it. “Yes I must. I really must”. But like the Three Sisters who talk about going to Moscow, I never seem to actually go anywhere. And George and I have never “done” New York. And for a man who professes to dislike Broadway show tunes, I thought this was going to be a coup. Okay, George “got” Sweeney Todd. And Passion. And Cabaret. But he also got the giggles over Peter Pan, and I had to keep him awake during Oklahoma.

It was mid-March. I was debating whether to pack the full length parka or my nearly winter jacket. I actually packed my woolly hat. Who knew it was going to be 70 degrees and people would be in shorts and poloshirts. NYC was like Shangi-La. I noticed green grass when we arrived, albeit from the cemetaries we passed. Or was that one long cemetery? We stayed at a modestly expensive hotel within walking distance of Broadway. Ten blocks north and eight blocks east. As Phyllis says in FOLLIES, “I walked my feet off in the Metropolitan!”. There is a need for more walking and more vigorous exercise in my life anyway.

After we checked in, we were ravenously hungry. Didn’t see the restaurants that were recommended, and ended up at McDonalds. They have a double fillet of fish that hasn’t landed yet in Canada. I think I had an Angus burger with mushrooms like they used to serve at Harvey’s. Then it was on to FAO Schwarz. Probably the most incredible toy store in the world. Giant stuffed animals you too can take home if you have $950.00 and a conservatory to keep them. We took home Pulley. A six inch woolly mammoth that wanted to travel north to Canada before Global Warming affects him. He’ll be happier in Canada with his friends Woolly and Bully. I also call George, “Woolly”. He calls me “Woolly”. You’re not alone in being confused by this. If you’re still reading. We also saw a man flying a small helicopter in the store on a remote battery. “This would drive Jezebel crazy”, said George. I pointed out the cost because someone had to. It stayed there. George did try his hand at the giant piano. I mean his feet. When you tap your feet on these giant keys, you can make music. Some people can. You probably saw this in the movie BIG with Tom Hanks. A few of you may have seen this in the musical BIG which was based on that. If you have a desire to attempt music with your feet, this is the place to start. We continued south on Fifth Avenue. This is the street where Judy and Fred do the Easter Parade past the St. Patrick’s Cathedral. I pointed out famous stores and famous brand names that were actually stores. Had to Had to Had to stop at Tiffany’s. No sign of Audrey Hepburn. Didn’t dare ask the price of engraving a name on a CrackerJack ring. The clerk would probably have asked, “What’s CrackerJack?” Oh well. “Put a Ring On It!”

Further south, we entered the Trump building. For Donald Trump Ice Cream. Mine was $4.00. George was $6.00. I can hear a voice from the next room saying “KNOCK IT OFF!’. Just saying. It was exquisite. We were just getting used to walking the blocks, and an energy push was required. I don’t remember too much except that we ended back at the hotel, put our feet up for a while, checked out spa packages, and had chicken for dinner before rushing across town to see LOOPED. Okay, not the best title for a play. “I was really LOOPED”. Everyone I told I was going to see LOOPED said “What?” So I prefaced with “Do you remember Mary Tyler Moore’s show? The one that ran for seven years—not the two variety shows that didn’t work that came after, or the one with Madeline Kahn that came much later?” “Good. Now do you remember Rhoda, her neighbour from the original series? That’s Valerie Harper, and she stars in LOOPED. I actually saw Ms. Harper the last time I was here because I think she took over for Michelle Lee in THE TALE OF THE ALLERGIST’S WIFE. I always liked Rhoda although when Ms. Harper came to town in GOLDA’S BALCONY, I didn’t go see her in that. “Now I’m back in Manhattan. New York, this is your lassst chance!”

LOOPED is actually a contrived story about legendary stage actress Tallulah Bankhead towards the Scream Queen stage of her life. She’s done Broadway, she’s done a number of movies, but few commercially accessible to the cognescenti except LIFEBOAT and an appearance in the last season of I LOVE LUCY. I suggest typing in BLACK WIDOW/BATMAN on Youtube and you can catch an actual episode (cut into 8 minute segments) with Tallulah Dahling at her gravelly best. The story as told on stage is that Ms. Bankhead has been asked back to the studio to re-record some dialogue from Die! Die! My Darling! It stars Stephanie Powers as Patriicia, and I’m not sure if Die! Die! is available. I know we taped it off some Movie Channel, so now we can play Treasure Hunt because after this play, we have this over-powering desire to see Die! Die! My Darling One More Time!!!

Tallulah has been credited with a lot of great one-liners, and a very funny woman. The problem with this play is they weren’t sure enough to make it a comedy or a drama and it’s both and it really doesn’t work. If they’d kept the funny lines out—okay, minimal, it might have worked, but it coaxes you to want to have a good time, so when she does get dramatic, you’re not buying it. It reminded me of Waiting For Godot because you feel like Godot will never come. In this case, can Tallulah ever re-record the missing line of dialogue from the movie in synch with the pre-filmed image. She says a line to “Patricia” so many times that George is now repeating it like a mantra. I’m starting to cry, cry, my darling. I’m glad I went. I like Valerie Harper, and she does resemble what we’ve come to expect the legendary Miss Bankhead to look like, even though she’s been dead around forty years. The real excitement of the evening was running into my pal Jane who was sitting in the row behind me. I only have one pal I’ve met from NYC up until last Thursday—I didn’t tell her I was coming because of timing—and there she is in the row behind me! Is that not amazing? You gotta ring them bells!! It amazes me! Bless Jane’s heart, she took the pictures of us in front of the theatre!! Her pal also said I did a better Tallulah Bankhead than Valerie, but I’ll concede Valerie was a lot prettier.

Friday morning, we got up. Ate breakfast at the hotel. Not fast. Not cheap. Not again. Asked advice and found ourselves at The Lighthouse, which sells accessories for the visually challenged. George bought a watch and a new cane. The watch is a lot cheaper in the States than in Canada. Checked out the other fun things they have. We already have a talking scale that says things like “Two Hundred and Twenty Pounds. Get off! You’re killing me!” We don’t want another. And being told you’re fat by a talking scale doesn’t really make you want to lose weight. Enough said. But we were curious whatever other fun things they had to tempt us.
Next stop was the Apple Store. You enter through this all glass (or plexiglass) elevator. Managed to flag down a sales person who was also visually challenged and wore thick glasses and was familiar with the territory.

A few bucks later…we ended up at Madame Toussaud’s Wax Museum. I’ve done Wax Museums with George in Niagara Falls, and they generally take about an hour to go through. This one had about four or five floors, and the added bonus was that George was allowed to gently touch the figures. No we didn’t walk off with Marilyn Monroe’s diamonds, but I took a number of pictures which will hopefully show up on Facebook. It was not cheap, but it was a great time for George. At that point it was just after three and George wanted to hit Toys R Us across the street. Okay, those who know George knows he likes action figures. I call them Dolls. He calls them Action Figures. Sounds more masculine, right? So I shrugged my shoulders and made our way into TOYS R US, wondering Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. Well, actually we were supposed to hook up with my pal Jane like two hours ago, and we have to find action figures in TOYS R US. For the unenlightened, this is no ordinary TOYS R US. There was a thirty foot Jurassic Tyrannosaurus Rex in the toy department. There was a four story high ferris wheel taking on riders in the basement. There was a Barbie Dream Home you can walk through. (George can’t wait to tell his friend Barbie) You could meet an actual Spiderman and an Ironman and have your picture taken for only $20.00. We checked out the StarWars selection, told by the clerk that the action figures disappeared a week after the last film’s release. After four hours of Stuff For George, he waited patiently while I checked out Broadway.com across the street for ten minutes and then we jumped into a cab and headed back to the hotel.

After dinner, George went to see The Irish Curse. It’s a play in Soho about a support group for men cursed with smaller endowments. I’ve seen Puppetry of The Penis, Menopause Out Loud, The Vagina Monologues, and The Full Monty, so perhaps everything’s already been said for me. George went and had a great time. More details available on his blog. Tick Tick Tick…

I went to see A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC. Also known as a Pilgrimage to see Angela Lansbury in person. She played Madame Armfeldt, mother of the leading lady. I was in the fourth row on the side, crying before the show began. I’ve seen every one of her movies—not an easy feat, but easier thanks to Turner Classic Movies and good Friends. Also everyone of her tv movies and every episode of Murder She Wrote. Three of my bosses have actually spoken to her. I’d seen her in Bedknobs and Broomsticks as a kid, which seemed something of a disappointment when I really wanted more of Mary Poppins. When I saw her in GYPSY, I thought who IS this actress! It was an incredible performance and thereafter I sought out her every performance on film or video. She did not disappoint. It’s a supporting role, but Angela manages to upset the balance and steal the stage everytime she’s on. She’s incredible. I used to hate the song Liaisons in other hands because it dragged on, but in her hands, it was great. This is not MAME—Angela has only one and a third songs in this show. There’s a verse from the movie for Mme they could have put back into the stage show for her, but they left the stage version intact. The leading man was also not available—the role of Frederick was played by the actor who usually played Mr. Lindquist (who appears in a strolling quintet) and he was great. Act one seems to take place within the same house, which is a staging challenge. Act two seems to be a Weekend In The Country, which made me want to ask Catherine Zeta Jones why she had birch trees growing in her bedroom. As Sally said in FOLLIES, “I’m glad I came!”

To be Continued…..

Yes, I’m still continuing. Merrily this rolls along. And I am still thinking of A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC. I enjoyed it very much. I’ve watched two different versions on video, not to mention one at Hart House, a Can Stage production, and another out in Scarborough that a friend had directed: the highlight of which included a chandelier that descended occasionally. I love the score. I recognize the lines as they’re spoken and still find them very enjoyable. What I forgot to mention was that I really didn’t like the singing of the actress who played Anne, the virgin wife of the leading man. She should have the soft, sweet voice of an angel, but this actress seemed to belt out the notes in an irksome way that already suggested she knew her way around the stables and hayloft and probably had played a Mazeppa in her time. Catherine Zeta Jones was worldly and knew how to deliver her lines. She was also old enough to be Angela Lansbury’s granddaughter, but let that pass.

I stood at the stage door when it was all over, but was told Angela and Catherine had left by another exit. Was it a ruse? Was that a farce? As God says, “Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor”, and decided that it wasn’t to be. She can remain a distant high priestess with the mostess for me. The Lansbury-Jones two disc cd version with newly recorded dialogue will be out in a couple of weeks. it’s on my Amazon wish list, but it would have been wonderful to have it signed in person.

George was already at the hotel when I arrived and in high spirits. He’d had a drink or two and been walked to his taxi by the artistic director. Details, George. We want details. The next morning, we had brunch at the Midtown Restaurant after we were able to find it. George insisted his banana pancakes which weren’t as good as the ones I make, and I tried strawberry pancakes with a thin dusting of icing sugar. Gonna try that myself soon. George was up for a shave, so we found a barber shop within walking distance. George wanted the New York experience. He wanted the hot towel rubdown, a skin massage, and yeah, please remove the stubble, Rubble! We found a room that had five chairs and not much room to swing a cat in, if Jezebel would pardon the expression. There was also a line-up. I left George and went for a New York experience of my own. Called Bloomingdales. Took the escalator up to the seventh floor and looked at bright mini-collanders and non-stick bakeware. When I returned, George’s face was “smooth as a babie’s arse!”, to quote Mrs. Lovett. Let’s go shopping!

We crossed the street to Barnes and Noble and checked out audio books. The latest Star Wars book to add to George’s collection of 134 was available, and twenty per cent off. Plus it was another ten dollars more expensive in Canada. I read him about three other racks of book titles before we ended up back in the Star Wars galaxy again. He bought a Star Wars quiz book with a gazillion questions and a mini-computer to answer whether or not the answer was right. I think we’re up to question 130, and we’re keeping track of the ones George answers incorrectly so he can have a second attempt. Then I walked George over to Sixth Avenue to a clothes store for Woolly sized patrons, and headed south. I’d bought a ticket third row center to see DAME EDNA/Michael Feinstein in A L L A B O U T M E. It’s at the Henry Miller Theatre, and a historical happening, since the theatre has been announced to a dramatic name change: THE STEPHEN SONDHEIM THEATRE. Somewhere Henry Miller is rolling in his grave. I just checked Wikipedia to find out who Henry Miller was, and I never knew of him.

Saturday afternoon. I make friends with the people in the seats around me. Four people behind me, mother and daughter and their spouses came up from Corpus Christie, Texas. Very Chatty. Woman to my left is coughing on a cough drop. I offer her a tic-tac, and that does the trick. Woman on my right is “from here.” New Jersey. Across the river. That ends my conversation with Debbie, and when Dame Edna tried to talk to her, she wasn’t any more helpful. “Where do you live, Debbie?” “a house”. “Oh REAAAALLLLY. What Kind of House?” Debbie has to do some real thinking and then comes up with “Brick”. Dame Edna and I discover that native New Yorkers and New Jersey aren’t much talkers to us out-of-towners. But I’m jumping ahead. As the show opens, there’s this great overture. It sounds like the beginning of a great show. Or a lot of great shows. I recognize Phantom, Sunday In The Park, Funny Girl, and maybe a dozen more. I keep wanting to Name That Tune before the curtain rises, and we see a nice oldfashioned stage band, a grand piano, and a huge vase of gladioli. As Dame Edna would say, “Who lives heeeere?” It’s pretty obvious. Except I’m surprised when Michael Feinstein rises up to the front and comes out singing.

Michael Feinstein. Nice pianist. I started buying his cd’s after John Williams recommended his “Isn’t It Romantic?”. I listened to that one a lot. “What can you do on a Saturday night alone?” music to play and feel sorry for yourself. Michael had this whole series of cd’s spotlighting various composers. I probably have about ten of his cd’s and enjoy them very much. Unfortunately, when I’ve seen him perform on tv, he has this killer insincere smile… Like “I really don’t like you but I’m gonna be nice” or like a crocodile about to devour you. It always turned me off, which you probably figured out. I dreaded the pairing of Dame Edna and Michael—like a wedding—love her, hate him… but thought I’d swallow the bullet. Imagine my surprise to discover Michael Feinstein didn’t come across as snooty in person. Yeah, from the third row, he seemed pretty genuine and nice. Still conceited when boasting of his extraordinary talent and how he’d only taken a few lessons and seemed to play everything by ear. But he;s still your dream cocktail pianist at a heavenly soiree. He’s well dressed and confessing his love of the American Songbook. He’s frustrated that people don’t know the names of the composers any more, and he manages about three songs—enough to start to settle down and enjoy. At one point, I thought I heard familiar squawking in the wings, but perhaps not. Then as Michael is finishing a big number, Dame Edna rises magnificently from a stage elevator stage center,, thanks Michael for coming and dismisses him like Meryl Streep in THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA. “That’s All” “Thanks for playing while I was a little late. Run along now! “ It’s staged and obvious and anyone who believes in pink and lavender hair is going to buy this as well. Michael is soon escorted off stage by two of Edna’s body-guards, and Edna takes over. As we always knew she would. I don’t think Michael in his right mind would ever attempt a show called ALL ABOUT ME. Maybe GERSHWIN AND I.

Unfortunately, in her absence from Broadway, Dame Edna hasn’t come up with anything new to say. She’s thrown her gladdies at me before, and when she talks about the people in the upper balcony as “Les Mizzies” , and asks the people in the front row where they come from, it’s as if she’s lost in the loop of one of her own videos. She uses some of the same material she uses in the 1985 video her staff is selling in the lobby. The exercise might have been more fun if she’d been interviewing the rich and the famous. Or settled on interviewing Michael Feinstein and coaxed him into singing The Dame I Love. When Michael escapes his bondage (which I think he secretly loved) the two divas perform against each other like a sixty second Gong show. They try to work it out together, and I’m analyzing why Dame Edna has hired a second banana. Maybe she doesn’t have the vocal chops to handle a hundred minutes of Melbourne Melody Madness. She trashes Stephen Sondheim and all the attention he’s been getting for his 100th birthday, and refuses to include him in her repertoire…. then proceeds with her homage as one of the Ladies Who Lunch. For the record, Dame Edna must drink Screech. It shows. It’s a pleasant afternoon’s entertainment and I was happy I attended. I was even happier that I availed myself of a Discount Code that came from the NY Times so I paid about 40 per cent less than the ticket price, and it was worth every penny. I gladly left with a gladdie, a fridge magnet, and a warm smile from her Niceness.

I came back to the hotel room. About a forty minute walk or so. George was in the shower. Hadn’t he seen that movie with Janet Leigh? Nothing terrifies him. He’d had his work-out in the gym. He kept threatening me that I’d have to run the treadmill with him, but I was getting enough exercise “pounding 42nd Street!” and back! We went for dinner at Johnny Rockets. I’d never heard of it, but apparently it’s a popular chain, and they’re even represented on Royal Carribean Cruise Lines. Also known as a hamburger joint. The kind with little juke boxes at the tables, like Fran’s. Two artificial flowers. When you order the milkshake, it comes with a side-car. I compromised. Balanced the milk-shake with a SALAD and a burger. Like it’s gonna matter. George had a peanut butter chocolate milkshake. Then we walked to the theatre. His and His. Eventually we split up. George went off to see NEXT FALL at the Helen Hayes Theatre. 43rd Street. I walked west towards Studio 54. Never been there before. Kept expecting I’d see spectral figures of Liza M, Mick J and Mikhail B in the catacombs. I read the blurb in the playbill that it had been originally built as an opera house, which was unsuccessful, then a theatre which was unsuccessful. It probably found its’ greatest success as the disco in the 70’s, and when the revival of CABARET moved in around 2001? Tonight was the second performance of SONDHEIM ON SONDHEIM presented by the Roundabout Theatre Company.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a Sondhead. Posters of Sondheim shows abounding throughout the apartment. A cracked statuesque head of Alexis Smith/Marlene Dietrich behind the tv. Angela in Sweeney Todd. Into The Woods. Pacific Overtures. A Little Night Music. Getting Away With Murder. Bounce. Saving room for Road Show, but eventually it will join the collection. ….

Scarborough. 1977. (I’m sounding like Sophia on the Golden Girls) I was sitting on a bedroom carpet hearing Cleo Laine sing “Send In The Clowns”, and I wanted to hear it again, and figure out what’s that from. Where does it fit? What does this mean in context? I eventually discovered a cast recording of A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC, and learned to appreciate Stephen’s other shows. Tonight’s offering is a reflection on all things bright and beautiful coming from Sondheim. There’s a big screen, and STEPHEN SONDHEIM is spelled out on wooden Scrabble-like letters. Like a puzzle that’s been put together. As the evening progresses, the video screen splits apart like two sides of a jigsaw puzzle, and behold our beloved Stephen Sondheim is telling us pieces of his life. How he got his name. Where he grew up. Flashes of home movies. Pictures of his curio puzzles. Stephen spread out against a couch with a yellow pad and a pencil he can sharpen unmercilessly. Yes, Stephen Sondheim not live, but on Video. When you’re 80 years old, you don’t have to show up and do eight performances a week. Unless you’re Angela Lansbury…A lot of the info we’re given is what he’s previously revealed in his “Getting To Know You” pieces he’s performed the last ten years or so. In Conversation with Frank Rich. In Conversation with Richard Ouzounian. In Conversation with Local Critic. With pre-agreed upon questions. He came to the MacMillan Theatre about fifteen years ago and it was a memorable evening. He came back about five years later and did it at the Liberty Grand. Now he’s doing it with advanced technology spouting out images and it’s the result of a filmmaker’s hard work. The added bonus is you have a company of eight actors who seem to be watching the video screen images of Our Master. Vanessa Williams is wonderful. She gets a “Good Thing Going” and performs a pseudo-strip-tease, “Ah But Underneath” to great advantage. Barbara Cook is also on hand. She sings “Take Me To The World” with her trademark yearning as if it were freshly written. Previous Sondheim compilations have had smaller casts. Side By Side By Sondheim had a cast of three, plus a narrator. Putting It Together had a cast of five. A Stephen Sondheim Evening (presented in Toronto as You’re Gonna Love Tomorrow) had a cast of seven plus a cameo appearance. Tonight’s entry is able to make the most of eight performers. Certain scenes from musicals are re-created, like “Waiting around for the Girls Upstairs” with eight great principals. Barbara Cook shows us she wants to live in New York! Sometimes the recreations are faithful to the original material. Sometimes they performed quite differently, like Passion’s HAPPINESS which becomes an ensemble number. In the second half, Vanessa Williams sings Losing My Mind before Barbara Cook sings Not a Day Goes By, and then they’re layered over top of each other to dazzling effect and rapturous applause from the audience. Not from me. When you play around with the Master’s material, nothing will ever top what Dorothy Loudon managed when she paired LOSING MY MIND with YOU COULD DRIVE A PERSON CRAZY. It’s a great evening. When people ask me, “Who’s Stephen Sondheim?”, I usually answer, “He’s the man who wrote “Send In The Clowns!” Yes, Sondheim’s greatest hit is also given an all-star tribute within the confines of the video. Don’t you approve?

What else? The rarely performed “Do I Hear A Waltz” is heard and performed. For a while, you could see Elizabeth Allen from the original cast perform it on an excerpt from the BLUEGOBO website, but it was pulled. It’s still rarely heard, and it’s a delight. You also get a number from GYPSY that was probably abandoned before it was ever performed, and I’m not sure it’s ever been recorded. Maybe Michael Feinstein recorded it on his salute to Jule Styne. I don’t remember. I don’t remember at all. Not at all. But “Smile” is given to Vanessa Williams and ensemble and there are better songs in Gypsy. I’m guessing it was replaced by Madame Louise and her Toreo-dorables, but GYPSY is in everyone’s top ten list of Broadway shows, so this number is sure to satisfy most of us!

Yes, I’m a Sondhead. So was most of the audience. They roared with approval many times. And shut up immediately as soon as a song was over and a new video clip was about to be shown. No one wanted to miss a word. If my candid opinion might scald, the leading man was the evening’s weakest link: Tom Wopat. Star of Dukes of Hazzard, more lately ANNIE GET YOUR GUN, and a number of musical offerings. I think he was out of his depth with this one. He would occasionally be underpowered, hit notes flatly, or look a little lost. Being asked to sing the epiphany from Sweeney Todd, stop partway through while Sondheim reflects on the themes of Johanna, and then pick up again with the same velocity as if nothing happened might be challenging. I would have favoured Brian Stokes Mitchell in his place. Meanwhile, out in the audience, Dee Hoty was pacing and covering the part of Barbara Cook. I’m not sure who’s ready to jump in for Tom Wopat. I sat beside Vanessa Williams understudy,N”Kange, her father, her father’s date, and N’Kange’s pal from France. I also sat two seats down from a man with a pen and a small light who was taking furious notes through the evening. I Remember doing that. For a show like this, you’d always be missing something.

The lady promoting the show in TIMES SQUARE told me it was two hours and ten minutes long. I made arrangements to meet George outside the Helen Hayes theatre about 10:30. The evening at SONDHEIM ON SONDHEIM didn’t end until ten to eleven. I knew George would freak and feel abandoned. I ended up jumping over a railing and escaping from a side stage door as soon as the final curtain came down. There was a crowd of three big burly men at the stage door who had gotten there first when I was the first out of the theatre. In retrospect, I think they must have been body guards for Miss Williams. I ran down Seventh Avenue until I hit Times Square. I kept hearing the music from THE GRADUATE. I wasn’t racing to stop Elaine from getting married. I just wanted to pick up George. When I hit 43rd Street, I started yelling GEORGE at the top of my lungs. Bless his heart, he was still patiently waiting and it was just after 11 pm. We walked home together once I caught my breath. I told him I’d seen Euan Morton in SONDHEIM ON SONDHEIM. Euan had starred in Rosie ODonnell’s production of TABOO, about the other Boy George!

Sunday morning, we went back for more pancakes. And non-Canadian bacon at the Midtown Diner. Followed by shopping at Barnes And Noble. This time focusing on Dvd’s. George bought BILLY ELIOT on sale for $10.00. There’s hope he might watch the musical. Well maybe, next year. Then we walked over to DUNKIN DONUTS. When you drive into the city of New York, I think we must have passed about eight of them. George wanted to try them and compare them. The cashier made a Real Mistake, and sold him my donut at a Senior’s Rate. I nearly choked on the pink frosting.

Sunday’s outing was all about THE TEMPERAMENTALS. After seeing Vanessa Williams from UGLY BETTY, I decided I needed to see Michael Urie from UGLY BETTY, too. George was in the front row, I was in the third row. It was about a group of reclusive homosexual men who decided to stand up for their gay rights long before the Stonewall riots of the late 60’s. Michael played a German named Rudy. If Sandra Bullock can dye her hair blonde and put on a Southern accent and win an Oscar, then Michael Urie needs to win an Obie award for his performance. If there’s any justice. At one point, Michael wears a bathing suit. The play is about two hours long, and it’s in this subterranean complex that also houses AVENUE Q and NAKED BOYS SINGING between 8th and 9th. I would have preferred seeing THE ADDAMS family, but there was no Sunday matinee, and it was okay for me. George gave it an 8 out of 10.

We made our way towards 23rd Street where we had a dinner date with George 2. A pal of George who was a co-artistic director of a theatre company, and his guide dog named Blake. It was a healthy walk. We stopped for pictures outside the library—the one in which the Cowardly Lion appeared in THE WIZ, so you know where I mean. Pictures eventually on Facebook. We had a wonderful dinner at the Outback restaurant. Not so much about theatre. More about people we knew in common, and what we’d done, seen, etc etc. Later jumped in a cab and came home. Couldn’t find BROTHERS AND SISTERS on any channel. Everything seemed to be pre-empted about health reform being passed in the US. After seeing Michael Moore’s SICKO film, it would be nice if the US could get their health insurance on the same plane as Canada. The next morning, we packed and flew home. George got to live his dream. His recent purchases of Seth and Meth, his two new pet Pink Snakes were stowed in the luggage. Yes, folks, we had Snakes On A Plane!!! It was a wonderful visit and we will remember for some time!!

4:50PM - Birthday Bliss!!

I had a wonderful birthday. It began last weekend with one of Lady Blackwell’s annual soiree’s, saluting the milestones of Bruce, Robert and I. George made a fuss over the invitation which spelled out that there wouldn’t be any presents for George. Two days later he was opening one from Amazon and was muttering “I wish Robert could see me now!” No matter. It was a very mellow evening with drinks, candlelight, and Patti Lupone singing show music. I left out the lemon cake and the strawberry mousse pie. And the oxtail and chicken for the first course. It really was about the ambiance, catching up on each other’s lives on a lovely night.

Chuck and John sent their card a week early. Much fun. A picture of a cat gambling with cards, and questioning how old are you this year. Like the army, dear. Don’t ask. Don’t tell. I think it’s gone up to 29 this year, and holding. Holding on for as long as possible. Ian was the first to wish me well on Facebook. A week early. Then came Heather a day early. Then it was Everybody Else on Facebook!!! Some I hear from regularly. Some a breath of fresh air! Oh my gawd! It was all wonderful! Got to the office and Robin wouldn’t let me sit down. He had a couple of fun cards, one from him and Trissie, another from Everyone in our department. Plus a dvd set of Hart To Hart! I’ve been catching up on the tv series I never watched because I didn’t have a VCR when they came out, and I’m a fan of detective/murder shows. Lately it’s been Moonlighting, but Robert Wagner should be pretty easy on the eyes, and Stephanie Powers looks brighter than any of Charlie’s Angels. (I’m gonna get slapped for that one!) Barb called from Markham to wish me a happy. Amanda had these nice cheese croissants she and her daughter had made, and apologized there wasn’t a cake. That’s truly okay. I’m quite happy with the folk I work with and that’s just fine. I departed for Swiss Chalet and when I came back, Amanda shouted out HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I turned around, and she was holding this wonderful Farmville Cake, covered on top with trees, chickens, cows, horses and other playthings! It made me smile. I’m hoping to post a picture of it shortly.

This is all out of order. Bruce gave me two vintage magazines of what men who like men might have been looking at in the 60’s which are fascinating. That’s probably all I can say right now. I need to sit down and enjoy them. Robert gave me a Spring Awakening Fridge Magnet (there really is a fridge somewhere underneath) for my kitchen, a collector’s sheet of Bette Davis stamps looking her All About Eve best, a Broadway calendar I can enjoy all next year with Angela on the cover…and last but not least, my very first Barbie Doll. A collector’s doll of Barbie dressed as Melanie Daniels from Alfred Hitchcock’s THE BIRDS. There’s a bird attacking her pulled back blond hair. There’s a bird on her shoulder pecking at her and another at her waist! Utterly divine! I will find a place of honour for it.

11:20AM - a day at the opera/a night at the musical...

     I went to see the much ballyhooed production of TOSCA at the Met.  Okay, it was my local cineplex.  New year, new schtick.  Since I had reserved seating, I showed up about ten minutes before the performance.  Only to discover a line up of about 200 people waiting to get in.  The line was moving, it just took awhile.  I was happy to learn that the beginning of the opera was delayed for ten minutes for "technical problems".  They also announced the sun might disrupt the broadcast and begged for our patience.  LUckily that never happened.  The simulcast was being held in three separate theatres.  I also used my SCENE card to get a discount on the frozen yoghurt at one of the intermissions.  The only way to get that is to leave right at the end of one of the intermissions.  Otherwise you're risking you might not be through the line-up in time, and I didn't want to miss a single aria. 

    Most of the anger came from the replacement of the mega-buck Franco Zefferelli production.  Act one takes place in a beautiful cathedral.  Well, that was the last version.  This church still looks like it's first painting is being created while we watch.  There's no altar or pews.  I can see why people are grousing if they're used to the previous version.  I just concentrated on the singing.  The opera starts with a man seeking refuge in the church.  He's escaped from a penetentiary, and has arranged with his sister to pick up a disguise in the family chapel area so he can flee town.  Meanwhile, the local artisan Cavaradossi is trying to finish his portrait of the Madonna, who actually resembles the local diva Tosca who's been spending a lot of time in church lately praying for her own reasons--an unrequited love for Cavaradossi.  Tosca is a diva, and as she sings offstage, I can't help remembering Bernadette Peters in Terrence McNally's THE LAST MILE which was written to commemorate an anniversary for Great Performances.  The opera diva Tosca is played by Karita Mattila, who's 49 years old and not the youthful Bernadette Peters.  The role calls for someone who's easily jealous, and not the brightest bulb on the christmas tree.  I would have gone for a much younger actress. 

    Anyway, the singing is fabulous and Very Verissimo, as they kept saying backstage.  It's true to the spirit and the meaning.  The hero and the villain both could easily lose about 100 pounds.  Yes, since the opera diva's have been kvetched  at for their backstage love of cheesecake, it's time to turn the tables on the tenors and baritones.  Actually, the villain, Scarpio kind of suits the size.  Maybe he's meant to be as big as Brutus or Stromboli as the crooked police chief, and seeing a naked boob and the back of someone's butt during a menage a quatre on the couch was enough to turn on any opera goer.  There were two large couches that made me remember Kherman and Ellen's couch, also red and oversized.  Kherman got his from EATONS.  I've always loved it.  It's got room for about four people to sit down on easily.  Yes, you can complain about the sets, but I loved the furniture.  Can't wait for the orgy sequence from the upcoming TALES OF HOFFMAN.  Hey, we all bring our own agenda to the opera. 

     I also found the last three seconds of the opera something of a cheat.  TOSCA isn't over until the diva hurls herself off the parapet.  This one ends before you can say SPLAT!  THe lights go out and it's left to our imagination....I suspect someone pushed an oversized muppet.  Still, I went in expecting to be bitterly disappointed, and it was perfectly acceptable.  Maybe it's because I saw that COC production of MacBeth that seemed to be set in LEON'S Furniture Warehouse that I'm more accepting. 

     Continued on my way and bought a turkey for Thanksgiving.  "Don't come home without one!"  were the last words Woolly said to me, in a threatening way.  I complied.  I also bought the grass hopper pie that was on sale for $4.00.  Earlier in the week, Woolly said the rare words, "I feel like watching a musical this weekend...."   He even suggested THE KING AND I.  Back up to Robert who loaned me both his collector's version of THE KING AND I and SOUTH PACIFIC.  About three months ago.  Maybe longer.  I like to give them back promptly.  He also loaned us his entire TEXAS CHAINSAW oeuvre.  As Dolores Gray sang in IT"S ALWAYS FAIR WEATHER..."Thanks, but no thanks!"  However, I hope to have those returned sometime soon. 

George agreed to watch SOUTH PACIFIC.  I didn't tell him, but I made him watch the Road Show edition which had extra bits put back into it.  I'd never seen them before.  I was grateful and together we made it through THREE HOURS of SOUTH PACIFIC.  George knew some of the songs but didn't know how they fit in context to the show.  It was a very interactive viewing.  I stopped him from snoring at every opportunity.  He did close his eyes at the beginning of BALI HAI and by the end when I woke him, he had no idea how long he'd been asleep.  I didn't pour water over his head during I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Out Of My Hair, but the thought DID enter my mind.  We poked each other during YOUNGER THAN SPRINGTIME and GAYER THAN LAUGHTER.  And George will always be my Three Hundred and One Pounds Of Fun, that's my great big HONEY BUN!    Anyway, it was definitely Some Enchanted Evening.....

10:16AM - getting down on the farm....

     For a while this summer, I was working on Salim's garden.  Clearing away the occasional seven foot weed and living in fear of the groundhog who seems to have moved in.  To quote Patricia Neal in BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S, " Looks like love has found Andy Hardy...".  Suddenly his spare time was devoted to a lady he met through Facebook and she came 3000 miles across an ocean for more than just a spot of tea.  What was I going to do in the meantime?  Yeah, I could start the story like this.  Maybe it starts much earlier...
     When I was just a kid, one of those questions that people used to ask:  "What do you want to do when you grow up?"  That's what Uncle Bill used to ask on Tiny Talent Time, and my stock answer was always "I want to be a farmer".  Easy enough for a city boy to say, growing up watching BEWITCHED and LOST IN SPACE.  The actual experience was pony rides in the summer before we got too big for them, maybe a trip to Center Island's farm once or twice, and maybe a visit to the Royal Winter Fair.  The truth was I was fairly small and animals terrified me.  Even houses that had dogs got assigned to my brother when I helped him on his paper route.  If I read THE EDIBLE WOMAN one more time, I'd probably stop eating meat altogether.  Still, I buy my meat products in styrofoam at the grocery store and don't think about the Before picture.  The image of the farm is still fairly appealing with healthy crops and cows and chickens if you eliminate the thought they end up in some slaughter house.  
 
     Update to last month.  Or did it start before that?  A co-worker joined this application called FARMVILLE on Facebook.  She kept saying things like "Someone just sent me a cow!"  "Just look at my beautiful lemon tree!"  "Oh dear, my strawberries have wilted!"  She'd intersperse our regular dialogue with updates and most of us would giggle.  She wasn't alone.  There were others who were budding farmers.  It turns out to be one of Facebooks most active applications.  Within three weeks, I decided to join the Green Acres folks and started my own farm on Happy Valley.  You plant a few crops, go back later and harvest them and you get coins to buy more seeds and then you harvest them and along the way you get rewarded with extra "coins" and "points" and fun things pop up along the way like giant balloons (Dorothy, I wanna go home...)  ugly ducklings and elephants.  Okay, I'm still trying to figure out the elephants, but maybe we can get them to pull out tree trunks eventually. 

    You click on the farm animals you collect and they give milk or fur or eggs or whatever, and you get more points/coins.  You can develop your farm, make neighbours, do helpful errands for your neighbours.  It's been a fun experience.  Each farm tells you something about each neighbour as to how they want to run their farm.  One gal isnt' really into the crops and has lots of animals and fruit trees instead and she's just fine.  Others like to organize their farms in neat rows of corn interspersed with pineapples and carrots.  Okay, these aren't the kind of farms you're going to see in reality, but you figured that out after the elephants.  There are fun elements, like the sound effects button you can choose to turn on, and you'll hear the sounds of horses neighing and cows mooing.  And yes, George, unmistakably the sound of PIGS.  And Sheep.  Someone turned on the sound effects at one point and it was a hoot.   George thinks I've joined the funny farm, and it has been something of an obsession.  This is the only time I will ever grow Tomatoes.  They grow in eight hours while I'm asleep and then I can get up with the sun and harvest them.  Rice is kind of nice--it turns the farm into this blue lagoon!  

    Anyway, I want to credit Katie who's been my advisor with farming advice.  I still need to know how to take my prize winning squash to the Royal Winter Fair....If you haven't heard from me lately, it's because I've been down on the farm....

1:57PM - about JENNIFER, short and not so sweet...

JENNIFER”S BODY 

Currently on display at a Cineplex near you, but I’m not sure how long it’s gonna be available….

   This may not be one of the worst movies ever made, but it’s the worst movie I’ve seen all year. As Paul Lynde sang in BYE BYE BIRDIE, “what’s the matter with Kids today?” .   Well, I know we weren’t perfect in every way, but the kids talk like Jarvis Street hookers and they’re maybe sixteen. Early on in this film, Jennifer talks about NOT being a backwards virgin and that she had to “Sit on a package of frozen peas” the next day to recover. WTF??!!   This is a movie about members of a young rock band who decides to sacrifice a virgin named Jennifer in the moonlight. Guess what—she ain’t a virgin, and things go terribly wrong. Jennifer becomes a female weirwolf or vampire who has to chase young men into the woods and eat them when she’s feeling peckerish. I’m all for going into the woods to get your wish. It’s Sondheim! It’s practically Disney. I remember the scene of Princess Aurora frolicking in the woods with Prince Charming in SLEEPING BEAUTY. This movie definitely ups the ante with the cute little forest creatures. I feel terribly old. Whatever happened to Frankie and Annette? Light years away. 

    Jennifer’s best friend is named Needy. Short for Anita. She must be very “needy” . Needy’s boyfriend doesn’t look old enough to be having sex, but don’t tell Paul Lynde. This film is from the people who brought you JUNO, which was about a pregnant teenager, so at least we got to see that one first. This is supposed to be a scary movie with comedic touches. At one point, Jennifer gets speared with a long pole and it goes right through her stomach.   She pulls it out. She’ll feel a draft, from fore to aft! Jennifer  blithely asks, “You have a tampon?” .

    Just saying….

8:21AM - "do you remember what year you made that picture?"

     I was a stage star once.  For about two minutes.  If that.  All those years of  operettas and community chorus appearances didn't do it.  No, I had this walk-on role in Fruit Cocktail 1987, and it got a lot of attention.  People wrote into newspapers complaining about it.  People wrote back defending it.  It's all over now, and somewhere I have a VHS tape of the experience. 
     George was a star once, too.  On television.  Okay, one commercial.  His commercial for EATONS netted him about $4,000 for one day's work.  He got picked up in a limousine, he stood at a bus stop and had maybe six lines.  It played nationally on television for the launch of Hugo Boss perfume.  I actually remember seeing it a few times.  By the time I fell in love with him, I didn't connect him with the commercial.  Tha t was about twelve years ago.  A lot of water under the bridge since then.   I was hoping to find it on YouTube, but it's not there.  Sigh...
    So Saturday night, we two has-beens are sitting on the couch.  Watching guess what movie?  WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE. About a washed up stage star and a forgotten film star.  Sisters!  Sisters!  There were never such devoted sisters!   Living together, growing old together. It puts new meaning to the phrase "Star Wars!"   Jane imitates Blanche's voice.  Jane tries to freak out Blanche when she serves the dinner.  Jane kicks Blanche in the ribs."   All this after a horrible car accident in the film's second prologue.   This is too familiar.  I think I know these people.  Even Elvira the maid.  Think she worked here once or twice.  At the point when Blanche is desperately hungry, and starts eating stale chocolates from Jane's drawers, George suddenly remembers the peppermint patties in a tin can left over from that Chocolate Monopoly game a few weeks back....
      It's not quite a musical, though you get to hear "I've Written A Letter To Daddy" about three times.  "His address is heaven above!!!".  I remember singing that one at TRAX more times than I care to remember.  Also known at Bette Davis' big song hit, right up there with "They're Either Too Young or Too Old..."  and  "Hush Hush, Sweet Charlotte!"   She actually released a record album, Bette Davis Sings!  Of course we knew!  The film also "introduced"  Victor Buono, who is probably better known as King Tut on BATMAN's 60's tv series.  Not sure what else he did.  One of the Planet of the Apes movies and a cannibal movie called THE MAD BUTCHER and scattered tv appearances and he never married.  He also died relatively young.   We need to give up the ice cream.  And now you know that two has-beens sit around on Saturday night watching old Bette Davis and/or Joan Crawford movies...
I

7:32AM - update...

     Well, I'm trying to keep writing, but what if there's not too much to write about?  We finished with RHODA's box this week.  "Hello, this is Carlton your doorman...."  which must have been used as a tired gag in EVERY show.   Can't believe how young Julie Kavner was in the beginning, who went on to THE SIMPSONS, then appearances in Woody Allen movies and TRACEY TAKES ON.  Also it's kind of sad that the actor who played Joe has now gone to join Nancy Walker Up There....Anyway, I think everyone agrees that Rhoda lost her edge (jumped the proverbial shark) once she got married....I don't know if there will be a second box release.  Or if we'll ever see a box release of PHYLLIS.  I do have the 5th season of MTM to look forward to this fall, so they've really taken their sweet time getting those out. One thing I'll say, the Rhodas wedding one hour episode was very very funny.  

    What else did we watch since I last wrote?  Another viewing of DEAD MAN WALKING, which I hadn't seen since the theatre's release.  Interesting to see one of the supporting characters from DEXTER in the cast.  It's also interesting to re-watch it once you know the final outcome of the movie.  Did he or didn't he?  Followed that with MAMMA MIA which also made me cry again and I don't know why.  I woke up the next morning with those Abba tunes racing around in my head, and I still believe that Pierce Brosnan can't really sing and a lot of it doesn't really work,but I'm looking at the beautiful scenery and singing along with the words at the bottom of the screen and having a great time....George of course knew most of the song lyrics...

     I also finished watching IOLANTHE from a few weeks back.  Again I was haunted with song lyrics for two days afterwards which I don't know how to eliminate, so I probably need to watch another musical fast.  There's THE BIG GAY MUSICAL coming out on the big screen shortly,but I imagine it's only likely to play the Carlton--it's the movie version of AdAM AND STEVE which I also saw once upon a time...

    Work was crazy this week--I was only there for three days, and had to do my job plus a coworkers.  I've been watching a lot of HOTEL episodes in between.  Lots of drama and familiar faces.  Also saw the episode of Charlie's Angels where the copilot and the pilot were drugged, andthere was only Kelly left to fly and land the plane full of stewardesses!  Now we're moving on to the last season of BEWITCHED.  I could be doing the film festival, but have you checked out the film prices?  I can wait... Yeah, I know this is very tv oriented, but frankly, there isn't a lot of news....

8:06AM - trying not to labour on labour day....

   I think Labour Day is one of those holidays Americans share with us.  They celebrate theirs with a Jerry Lewis telethon, and we celebrate ours by keeping the Eaton Center open.  Work was especially kind on Friday.  The VP sent an email saying if you had completed all your time sensitive work and had the approval of your manager, you could leave at 2pm.  It was sent around 1:30, and it took me until 2:30 to hit the trail, but it felt like getting out of school for summer!  Stopped at METRO, formerly Dominion to get George his Sweet And Low.  Artificial Sweetener.  Last time it was on sale,and I bought two boxes.  Now we're nearly out,and no other brand will suffice.  Then stopped at Loblaws to get a decent sized bottle of pure maple syrup.  Can't see buyingone of those watered down Aunt Jemima's...Made it home with two extra hours to put my feet up and it felt good.  George picked up dinner at Steve's and we watched an episode of RHODA  "My name is Rhoda Morgenstern.  I was born in the Bronx in December, 1941.  I still feel responsible for World War 2.  The only thing I ever loved that loved me back was food."  etcetera etcetera etcetera... Did we watch another episode of Charlie's Angels?  I forget what I did, but I still feel like I'm being punished. 

   No.  It comes back and stalks my memory.  We watched the remake of HALLOWEEN.  Lots of attention to the pre-story about little Micheal Myers and his trailer trash family who eventually get slaughtered by this eight (?) year old boy.  Sent to an asylum where he's visited by Dr. Loomis, now played by Malcolm McDowell (who's still atoning for his sins from A CLOCKWORK ORANGE).  Eventually more carnage, and Michael is left for dead (???) in the bottom of a drained swimming pool.  For the record, this is not what you want for a bedtime story.  I woke up early the next morning and didn't want to go back to sleep. 

    It was a Shoppers Drug Mart 20 times the Points day, and we were almost out of bubble bath.  It happens.  I took a short bus ride with my two IKEA plastic bags, and bought six more bottles--one of each flavour (?  we don't actually drink the stuff) plus Listerine on sale, and Q-Tips for something to stick in my ears besides fingers when I don't want to hear people scream.  I bought products that had special labels like 5 times the regular points.  I bought two more bottles of dish soap.  Again different flavours.  We have no product loyalty, and switch from Palmolive to Sunlight without guilt.  Just like the refreshing smell of something nice when water is filling the sink.  My regular points added up to about 1,000, plus another 1,000 points for buying certain bonus products.  Multiply that by 20.  Anyway, I can now have a good shopping spree for free next time.  When we run low on SDM stuff...Wait six months...

     Rushed back for a cup of George's terrific coffee and sat down with the Saturday paper.  Then we left for the bus stop.  Ran into Darlene and Alex who were also going downtown.  She's become something of a groupie for one of the buskers, but they ended up going for a long long walk instead.  George went for coffee with a Good Book.  I went to the opera.  LA BOHEME.  At the Cineplex.  I'm becoming a big fan.  I saw La Boheme in April when the COC did it and four months later, I'm willing to see it again--which must prove it.  This is the Met version...which means it's the biggest possible. 

   I enjoyed it well enough.  I like being upclose and personal--I usually sit in the front because I can't stand the seniors muttering to themselves in the dark near me.  Rodolfo was definitely portly,and there was another of his cotillion who was twice the size of him.  It was hard to believe in this group as starving artists.  Still the crowded street scene for act two was incredible--I always thought the COC did an incredible job with this opera but the Met must have a bigger stage and more $!    Musetta is definitely a great name for a feline pet!! 
Afterwards, I killed time checking out the dvd ghetto of Yonge/Dundas and ran into Robert who was killing time after checking out two movies at AMC.  We went up and joined George (who was early?!!) for HALLOWEEN 2. 

     HALLOWEEN 2.   What can I say?  It continues the story after Micheal is found dead inside the swimming pool.  Laurie is picked up by the Sherriff wandering around in shock and covered in blood.  Yes, everything's as if we never said goodbye.  And Michael never dies...This time, they've added a mother fixation for Michael, and she keeps reappearing in halluciinations with a white horse.  What the ????  I'm happy that Malcolm McDowell is still back in the story.  It's suddenly a year later and he's on the talk show circuit pushing his latest book about the Michael Myers legend.  The movie redeems itself with an appearance by Lois Lane (i mean MARGOT KIDDER) as a psychiatrist.  Robert gave the movie a 3--I gave it a 5, George gave it an 8 and can't wait for the video.  Maybe it will come out in time for Halloween!!!  
    We followed the movie with dinner at the Pickle Barrel.  Iain joined us.  He sat through one version of Halloween and had had enough, years ago.  I envy a man who knows when to say when.  Nice dinner.  George stopped off at Indigo to pick up the latest Star Wars novel--he wanted it YESTERDAY!!  He also picked up the Peanuts dvd with ITS THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN which we had to watch as soon as we got home...

     Sunday we got up and went to the Ex with Darlene, Alex and Vivienne.  A good time, but much the same experience as a year ago.  Tiny Tom donuts of course.  The farm building to see Yoda and Jabba the Hut in Butter amongst other creations.  Like butta!  The arts and crafts building.  george bought some jams, some nut brittle.  I bought four books.  Word to the wise--NEVER BUY BOOKS at the CNE.  Or at least until closing time.  You carry them around all day and your arms grow longer.  George also bought some chocolate body butta.  If you see George looking like Jabba the Hutt and all brown, yes, that's probably him.  wait five years.  I'm going to be hit hard for that one.  OUCHHHHHHHHH

    The food building.  George did Shopsy's which I think is now defunct as a restaurant in Toronto.  I did H SALT Fish And Chips.  Also long defunct.  The CNE celebrates the ghosts of restaurants that used to be in Toronto.  That's the real ghost story of the CNE.  We took a break and then did more shopping.  Dvds.  Mostly horror.  Is anyone surprised?  I picked up EVENING and MRS HENDERSON PRESENTS and a salute to Jack Paar.  More shopping.  Couldn't get in to see Elvis Stoijko.  We left the building. 

     On to the midway.  Darlene threw darts at balloons and won a pink dolphin which she gave to George.  George gambled at the Crown and Anchor and got back the money he had "invested" before leaving.  Then there was some kind of birthday spin....George put two bucks on April and two on November and ended up with a yellow fuzzy teddy bear about eighteen inches tall!!! His name is Fuzzy!!!   It was a very full day...Now you know everything...

7:28AM - the garden Hotel...

    Just as labour day arrives, I'm reaching a point where I wish the garden had been all year.  Under control?!  It's taken a while.  My batting average has been about once every fourteen days.  Sometimes it rained, sometimes I was sick, or sometimes I couldn't get there, but I managed once every two weeks but unfortunately started late.  I'm blaming the bank since a bank disaster left me with no spare time.  Still, spending a day every two weeks on my hands and knees blissfully pulling out weeds and making it look nice gives me a nice feeling of tranquility.  This week I found a fair sized toad in the garden.  I'm always worried about what I'll find, now that I know there's a ground hog nearby.  Think I know where his hole is--he's living under the bike shed in the back.  We're making progress.  Last year, I didn't find the bike shed until later--that's how overgrown it was.  There is still lots of work to do, but the front lawn and garden is pretty respectable, and it's my aim for the back to look the same way.  The lady of the house just wants to pave the back yard, but I keep telling her the sun on the pavement will cause reflecting heat.  As it stands, there's a beautiful side garden next to the garage which I've half filled with portulaca, but would probably make a terrific garden space for tomatoes.  But tomatoes/vegetable gardens and groundhogs are not a good combo.  Anyway, I'll try to keep working to see how far I get, and will probably throw in the trowel after Thanksgiving!!  

Other than that, I'm watching retro tv.  What else is new?  Latest entry is HOTEL.  Like the Arthur Hailey novel, based on the comings and goings of people in a large luxury hotel. Apparently it played in the early 80's before I had a VCR, and I was kind of busy at the time, going to theatre, performing theatre and godknowswhatelse, but I don't remember being home much during this time period...It stars James Brolin who I mostly remember from occasional 70's tv movies, and MARCUS WELBY....but now more infamous as the man who has lately married Barbra Streisand. He has this terrific bedside manner  and he solves lots of problems in the HOTEL series, so I can only fantasize what he must be like as a husband...except Barbra got there first... 

    The series started off with Bette Davis who left after filming the pilot.  She was the owner of the Hotel but ended up with Anne Baxter replacing her as her sister in law....for a while, they left it open that she might have returned, but it never happened...Funny thing is, I only know Anne Baxter from that other Bette Davis movie, ALL ABOUT EVE.  I checked the database, and really haven't seen too many of her movies beyond the one she did with Angela Lansbury (Season of Passion) and the Columbo she did, but I can probably re-catch her Batman tv appearances on You Tube.  So I'm watching all her line readings as if she's still scheming from ALL ABOUT EVE, it's kind of ground into my head.  Meanwhile all kinds of interesting people check into the hotel, and this is NOT LOVE BOAT...They deal with issues that would have been tossed overboard, like potential child molesting for example in one episode.  I was thrilled to see Ron Ely (from the episode TARZAN--haven't seen him since uh Tarzan....Still very nice looking and very charming.  Mostly it seems to be a revolving door of guest stars from DALLAS but I'm thrilled to see Hermione Gingold or Hope Lange or whoever comes in next....Liz Taylor is in the opening episode of Season Two, so I hope that makes it to dvd.  In the meantime, I'm glued to the tube !  

10:25AM - MONOPOLYizing the situation....

     Normally we try to stay close to home.  No, that's a lie.  With Halifax, Copenhagen, the Caribbean, Orlando and Cyprus under his belt, George seldom stays home.  I try to stay home.  And catch up on tv from previous decades.  Always paranoid I've missed something.  Twenty years from now, I'll be catching up on CSI, LOST, and HOUSE.  So the news is we went to play Monopoly with Lianne and David in Mississauga.  It means crossing a line that says "Welcome to Mississauga" and another transit system to contend with.  I googled before I went so I'd have a better Idea of where we were going.  (Yes, we were there two years ago, but I'd forgotten the directions...) 

     The theme was Chocolate-Opoly.  We came prepared with chocolate Hershey kisses, Peppermint Patties and other ilk, and Lianne had some chocolate covered bits and bites.  No one starved.  It was a very interesting game.  Properties were all named after various chocolate edibles, but as we went around the board, no one was able to gain a complete set of properties.  We have also learned never to wheedle and deal with George, as there's only one person who''s going to gain from the transaction.  Eventually Lianne gained control of the fourth "railroad" which meant anyone landing on a "railroad" had to pay her $200.00 while everyone else was nickeling and diming their way around the board with the highest rent being $50.00.  It was a spirited game.  Lots of vented frustration.  I kept donating my $200 for passing INDULGE to the centre of the board, and Lianne kept collecting it when she landed on FREE SAMPLES.  I could claim she rigged the game, but that's just poor sportsmanship.  So instead I'll concede our hostess with the mostess won fair and square when we closed the proceedings at 6pm.   Then we had a nice roast--George was raving about her roasted potatoes, but everything else was delectable, and started watching Retro-Tv.  That would be Muppets and Brady Bunch!   Santi and Anna dropped over, and I miss my university days when you'd huddle around the tv and watch it together and shout out cat calls.  (Well, that was the way we'd watch THE GONG SHOW, which might have been more deserving of that attention...) 

    Afterwards, Dave and Lianne drove us home.  Still not sure what the slow up was on the 401, but we were listening to retro music, (okay ABBA amongst others) and didn't want the  night to end...  Thank you for a wonderful evening!   Re-match will be forthcoming!!!!!

8:11PM - back from the swamp waters with Iolanthe after midnight...

    Suddenly it's Friday again.  How did that happen?  Where did the week go?  I can tell you in one word;   DEXTER.  Season 3 arrived on disc and I couldn't wait to start it!  I had to finish Dr. Dick first (Season 3, Diagnosis Murder), which I was really enjoying as well.  However, Tuesday morning, I watched an episode of DEXTER before work and I was excited all over again.  Season 2 was all about cleaning up after yourself.  Season 3 was about Family.  When I came home that night, I watched two more episodes before George came home.  Wednesday it was over cast and had been raining and looked like it was going to rain.  I started watching more DEXTER, and then called in against gardening.   when the sun brightened up, I felt guilty.  It's been a strange summer.  Last year I was over there almost every week, but this year, I started late and only managed an appearance once every two weeks.  Them's the breaks.  Sometimes I was sick or it was rainy--it wasn't deliberate.  So enough of my guilt--I sat and watched seven episodes of DEXTER in one day.  I contemplated sharing my feelings on line or on Facebook, but I was terrified that someone would write back " Have you gotten to the part where Dexter's inside the CocaCola machine and he's thrown overboard?"  I hate spoilers.  Without spoiling it, I loaned it to Mark to enjoy.  He'll be happy to know that Dexter goes golfing, and goes shopping in Walmart and is just like anyone else you might know....except he's hiding a big dark secret about his part time hobby.  Killing off those who had it coming.  

     What else?  An episode or two of Charlie's Angels and Love Boat.  We seem to be going through an Aaron Spelling spell.  It has a downside.  Sometimes that theme music stays in my brain the morning after.  Speaking of The Morning After, I am coming to the end of MILLION DOLLAR MERMAID and I was thrilled to find that Esther Williams had been asked to star in THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE.  Well, we all know she can hold her breath under water for as long as it takes to cross the pool.  Hell, she can even sing underwater!  She could have turned The Poseidon Adventure into a real musical!!!  When I went to the internet data base, I found out Petula Clark had been asked to play Nonnie, the singer.  'How are things above the kitchen?"  Well, Esther Williams turned down both The Poseidon Adventure, and we never had the thrill of seeing Esther fall out of a glass elevator in THE TOWERING INFERNO either.  I'm guessing she read the scripts and said she wanted to live happily ever after, and Irwin Allen doesn't guarantee that.  

     George has just asked me if I'm writing my memoirs, and in a way, that's what these blog entries are.  They'll help remind me how I spent too many a dark and stormy night that we've had around here, and we're about to have another!  Last night, after a particularly unmemorable episode of LOVE BOAT, I turned off the computer, finished the dishes, and decided what I'd watch before I turned out the light.  NOrmally I pick a sit com, and about fifteen minutes usually does it.  I decided something different.  I opted for IOLANTHE.  The Stratford version that was taped for CBC.  First I checked out the Special Features, updates to the script, and  a little documentary about Stratford hosted by Harvey Kirck.  Then I began to wonder what happened to Harvey Kirck.   
He's dead.  Been dead for a while.   

    I started watching the video, which starred Maureen Forrester as a kindred spirit, the Queen of the Fairies.   Eric Donkin was her co-star, and yes, he's gone to his grave as well.  As for some of the other performers, most have seem to have vanished into obscurity, like Karen Wood, Marie Baron  and Paul Massel.  Anyway, I"m watching this video and its bringing back memories of when I took a trip to Stratford to see it the first time around.  The poster was on my bedroom wall as a reminder for at least fifteen years afterwards.  They changed some of the lyrics which appalled the Toronto Gilbert and Sullivan Society residents at the time, but the Stratford festival managed to jump on the renewed popularity of G&S which was probably a good thing and they produced four or five of them over a number of years, and at one point, they had three going in repertoire.  At one point, I was in a local production.  Why am i telling you this?  Watching this video at 10:30 at night suddenly grasped my attention and by midnight, I'm singing along at the top of my voice the act one finale!  I got myself wired up in memories and remembering lyrics I haven't sung in fifteen years that I still couldn't get much sleep until about two in the morning.  
I still haven't watched act two, but I think I remember how it ends.  A happy ending.  Unlike the Poseidon.  Or reality sometimes...
    Then there's what went down today in the office, but I'll save that for another time.  Another suitcase in another hall....

6:05PM - boogie nights--evocative soundtrack--downer of a movie...

    Blogging is the original Reality Show.  I blog.  You watch.  You can believe what  you want or read between the lines.  

     About four months ago, we started watching George's Christmas present.  Planet Of The Apes.  There's five in the series and then there's the tv series.  We still have one more to go of the original movies, but in spite of a little action figure of Zira watching us from the top of the computer, we haven't gone yet to CONQUEST FOR THE BATTLE OF THE PLANET OF THE ATTACKING MONKEY CLONES.  Maybe that's a good thing, but last week, we started OLIVER TWIST.  It's  a three part adaptation, including the prequel that Charles Dickens never wrote, but someone thought we need to make this version different.  It has Julie Walters in it amongst others.  I was hoping we'd go there this weekend, but George just wasn't "feeling cerebral".  I want to dial that one in.  "Sorry, I can't make it to the office today.   I'm just not feeling Cerebral!".  I know.  Take the pink tablets. 

     Instead we opted for a Sunday afternoon film.  Instead of Masterpiece Theatre, we opted for Masterbate Theatre with a PJ Anderson opus called BOOGIE NIGHTS.  I know I'd seen it when it came out, but that was twelve years ago.  I knew what it was about, the porn industry, but I think I prefer ORGAZMO which handled the material in such a way that you could still walk out of the theatre with a warm smile.  PJ Anderson makes downer films.  I have since hated his MAGNOLIA (it's raining cats and frogs out there...) and another messterpiece called PUNCH DRUNK LOVE with Adam Sandler.  Ask me why?  I dunno.  Really.  Enough time must have elapsed that I'd forgotten my feelings for the previous films.  BOOGIE NIGHTS offers Burt Reynolds as a director of porn films.  While we never see what I fingered through a Cosmo to see in the 70's, he does have a nice wig and gives a winning performance.  It also offers the lovely Julianne Moore as an industry veteran who experiences the highs and lows.  Heather Graham plays Rollergirl--if she had an actual name, I don't think I ever heard it mentionned, and I don't think she ever takes off those roller skates, something I'd wanna do in a water bed.  Marky Mark really stars as  Dirk Diggler, a male porn star that inspired George's new nick name, Woolly Wiggler, but let's not go there.  What I did appreciate about the movie is that deep down, it was a musical.  All of the songs were commenting brilliantly on the action.  For example, as Rollergirl was flailing about on the bed and about to be laid, we heard the strains of Melanie singing "I've got a pair of brand new rollerskates!  You've got a brand new key!"  She also had a loverly bunch of coconuts, which you'd need, too if you want to survive in the porn industry.  The film takes us through a period of about six years....enough time to be discovered, become a star and ultimately become all washed up.  The whole experience left me hungering for a Deanna Durbin movie which I plan to get revenge and force George to watch...I'm thinking  CAN"T HELP SINGING should be perfect...

     Later....    
    

10:21AM - okay, I'm not trying 540 recipes in 365 days but....

......I did buy this box set of James Bond movies.  On a one day special from Amazon. Worked out to about $5.00 a movie at the time....  I think there's like 21 movies in there, and we're working our way through them chronologically. Can we do this within a year without going a little Spy Versus Spy Crazy?  

      Last night was FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE.  Sean Connery.  For some, he's the ONLY real James Bond.  I always kind of liked him, but I was more excited with a relatively rare film appearance with Lotte Lenya.  Widow of Kurt Weill.  They didn't ask him to write the theme song.  He had already passed on, so they chose Lionel Bart who had previously given the world OLIVER!   I think that was the only James Bond theme song he was asked to write, and after hearing it twice, I couldn't sing a line from it to save my spying soul.  It also stars Robert Shaw who played the cantankerous Quint in JAWS, only here he's much more of a hunk with L'Oreal Blondissima hair cut very short, and he doesn't talk much.  Mostly he stalks and kills.  What do I like about this heterosexual fantasy of James Bond?  Well, exotic locales--this one doesn't spend nearly enough time in Venice.  There's an attache case with hidden guns, knives and poisonous gas, so yeah, the gadgetry.  Everything flows smoothly-- sophisticated dialogue with a sexual undertone lying there, so you know this is of British derivation.  Less is always more!  It ain't the sex scenes, although the bathing suits were probably quite provocative for its time. 

     As for trying to be Julie and  Julia in the kitchen, I made FIVE CUP SALAD.  Or as George likes to call it, GORDIE MARSHMALLOW SALAD.  The first time I had it was Paul Jennison's mother made it on a day trip to Peterborough and I begged her for the recipe.  Decades ago.  You can make it, too.  One cup of coloured mini-marshmallows, one cup of sour cream, one cup of mandarin orange pieces, one cup of pineapple bits, and one cup of cocanut.  George kept trying to get me to put in walnuts, but I said NUTS to that.  Throw everything together in  a bowl, mix it together and then leave it for two days if you can.  As Lucy Ricardo would say,  ".....and TASTY, Too!!!:" 

5:26PM - i'm back and it didn't take three months...

     Okay, so there's some egg on my face.  Made this vow to write more frequently on this blog.  Then we had this storm from hell on Thursday.  It looked bad.  Sky getting real dark, seeing glimmers of lightning in the distance and ominous thunder.  I'm deciding do I really need to buy another three bags of milk when I have part of one still left in the fridge?  Wasn't sure if there was enough for breakfast, so rather than come in to the office with no breakfast and be crabby for the first half of the day, I made the trip to NO FRILLS and bought the milk.  The approaching storm looked even worse when I came out.  Luckily George was home when  I got home.  I was worried...He has a metal cane, and ever since Ben Franklin was flying a kite in a thunderstorm with a metal key on the end of it, things haven't been the same.  Some child was killed last week by a bolt of lightning for carrying a metal scooter.  George is too much a happy go lucky guy to worry about thunder bolts and lightning (very very frightening to me, Galileo!) 

    For the record, I never really figured out what Bohemian Rhapsody was really all about.  Bought a ticket to see WE WILL ROCK YOU and it still didn't make any more sense, even if you can see THRILLER on stage in London.  Where was I?  Oh yes, a thunder storm.  By the time I got home, I started making one of my chicken/onion, CAMPBELLS MUSHROOM SOUP, and a few vegetables in a No-Stick frying pan.  George was having one of those pizzas I picked up for $3.79 when they were on sale at NO FRILLS.  It got scary out.  George was blithely listening to JAWS as each thunder clap made me pray a little louder to Sondheim.  I decided I'd better turn off my computer, and it froze, so I pushed the Turn On button real long and it turned off.  The problem was that later on, after tornados had made 41 houses uninhabitable in Vaughan, my computer wouldn't come back to normal.  It kept coming back to a blank screen with a line about INTEL Line 1,w hatever that meant.  George had booked his computer guru for Saturday morning to put his computer back into shape, so I asked him to come a little early and try to fix mine.  Well, you're reading this now, so you know it's fixed.  And we still have a roof over our heads but I can't get over how devastating the storms are nowadays.  I freak, run for cover.  I've mentally established if a tornado warning is issued again, we're heading for the parking garage and the stairwell...

    Went to the opera today.  One of those specials THE MET AT THE CINEPLEX or however they're called.  Repeat broadcast from last year.  Still works for me.  Do people complain about Mona Lisa and say they don't want to see that one again?  This was called LA FILLE DU REGIMENT.  Donizetti.  The same Italian who gave us all that Scottish tragedy in LUCIA DI LAMMERMOOR has gone closer to his roots with a tale about a young orphan woman who was adopted by a French army in love with a young man from the other side of the Tyrolian mountains.  Presumed Austrian, but when you're in love, you're not always looking too carefully at passports.  It starred Natalie Dessay, who I loved in LA SOMNOMBULA.  She's very energetic, and this one was definitely re-written as a comedy, although a couple of her arias shouldn't be sung so serious.  Natalie is the orphan Maria (yes, this was written long before someone tried to solve the problem of Maria in the mountains) who is seen washing clothes, ironing, peeling potatoes, and singing bel canto while upside down. She also has this kooky pigtail that makes me want to laugh, she's wearing what looks like an undershirt (is her chest strapped?) and she's an Unsinkable tom boy....that cooks, cleans and has become beloved by her regiment.   Natalie  should write a HOW TO SUCCEED AS A SOPRANO WITHOUT REALLY TRYING because I'm sure no one prepared her for a role like this.  At one point she's still belting out beautiful high notes while being carried off six feet high above the chorus.  Her lover is Juan Diego Florez in a role that established Luciano Pavarotti as the King Of the High C's decades ago.  Juan does not disappoint. 

One of his arias was one that was being prepared for that other Met film, THE AUDITION which I saw and appreciated last June.  There are a few great rousing tunes in this opera, and Marian Seldes brushes up her French and manages to get away with a Non-Singing role.  I can't remember laughing so much and having such a great time.  

7:30PM - BUS STOP, and I'm not talking Marilyn Monroe...

     I actually felt sad when they tore down the bus shelter on the corner.  It was probably new in the 70's, and they've replaced the bus shelters on the other three corners so they took their sweet time.  It did look on the grungy side--and really only fit three or four people comfortably because everyone has to have their own 'personal" space, but if it was raining, or snowing, we'd managed about eight or nine suddenly friendly people.  So they tore it down.  They also removed the extra bench a few months ago, which was an extra luxury, next to the mail box.  The latest insult was the removal of the garbage cans. 

     In my secret identity, I was also the protector of the shelter.  There's a business in the street corner where the culprit used to advertise flyers and plaster them over the walls of the shelter.  At one point, the sign in the shelter about unlawful postings was removed.  Mostly it was the jeweler and the traffic ticket/immigration person who plastered the most notices.  I'd delight in tearing them down so you could uh see the bus coming.  So we've lived for about two weeks without a shelter.  Then I notiiced they tore up the concrete and laid fresh concrete a few days later.  It's coming!  it's coming!

   This morning, there was a new shelter.  It has the name of the street on it in smart lettering.  It's also much taller than the previous version, or for that matter, any other shelter I've seen.  It's like fifteen feet tall and slanted and open glass.  At the edge of a parking lot.  I hope the cars see it.  I also removed two freshly put up posters from the jeweler, begging for people to sell their old gold.  I'm proud we have a brand new state of the art (oh yeah--it comes with it's own advertising--a full wall but I forget what it's displaying!)  And speaking of advertising, COORS BEER (from Yonge Eglinton) has dropped it's advertising campaign in BC saying the beer is "colder than the people of Toronto".  Which is just as well.  You are what you are, and it's not based on borders....

7:30AM - a barbecue in the country....but still technically in Toronto...

     One of my favorite things to do is go grocery shopping at No Frills at 8:00 on a Saturday morning.  You don't have the place to yourself, but this is as good as it gets.  Probably no line up at the cashier, everything has been put on the shelves (if they have it) and the least number of people around you as you shop.  I took my little trolley thing because DIET COKE was on sale.  Yes, it was also on sale at Metro (formerly Dominion).  Metro had it featured on the front page of their flyer, 4.99 for a case of 12.   No Frills had it on the front page of their flyer 4.99 for a case of 24.  Duh.  So  i picked up five cases at NoFrills and pushed the trolley  home, along with a few other specials like Listerine.  I felt like I was being unfaithful to Shoppers Drug Mart--normally I wait until Shoppers have one of their 20 times the points days, and then buy six bottles of Listerine, six bottles of Scope and everything else I can think of to hit the minimum $75.00 limit to rack up the points.  It does pay off eventually and you get a free shopping trip!  I've also become a SCENE member (what took me so long?) so if I go to the movies ten times, the next ones for free.  I don't go to lots of movies--maybe one a month or so, but it adds up.  Wish I'd had it when I started buying my opera movies.   Somewhere I hear a little voice saying, 'Saves money, too, Madge!"   That's from a Palmolive ad.  I don't use Palmolive.  I usually buy whatever dish soap is cheap and has a nice smell, since I want that nice smell for the first minute as I'm pouring the hot water....

     We went to a barbecue yesterday afternoon.  It was probably early evening.  We were invited to last year's but we didn' t go.  I'm semi-terrified of parties where you don't know anyone, but the host, Gary is a real sweetheart and Marlon was going and we haven't seen him in years.  The party was way out east in Toronto.  The city limits.  I left home at 10 to 2, and we arrived around 4:30.  Okay, so I stopped and bought beer--Gary said just bring a smile but I can't do that--so I brought a six pack of Labatt's Blue which is what I used to drink like 25 years ago and I'm kind of glad they still make it--I didn't see Brador or Molson Export on the menu and a six pack of Stella Artois because of the money they spend on the ad campaigns.  If you drink their beer, it means you lead a sexy life as James Bond or something...

So we get on the Lawrence bus 54 - A and it takes its sweet time going across the city.  (Gary did suggest the GO TRAIN, but I thought to go downtown and wait for the hourly train to save time???)  I'm kind of urged to go down memory lane on the Lawrence bus.  For the first part of the journey, I read George the paper--the Direct Access column and Dear Ellie.  Then we're up to Wilket Creek Park, and there's no sign of INN ON THE PARK--I think it burned down or got torn down--I remember going to some ad campaign there about ten years ago with Naomi and Martin.  I'm remembering the times we spent in Wilket Creek and Sunnybrook park as a kid.  I also remembered it adjoined the summer day camp for blind kids where I spent a summer and whether or not I was ever George's counsellor is still argued today...There's what was my sister's apartment on Lawrence--there's different balconies on it now, so the paintings on the balcony my other sister painted are now gone with the wind.  There's a new front on the Don Mills Library where I used to go on Saturdays with my dad and grandmother.  The Don Mills plaza has been taken down and there's a new assortment of buildings there now, but you can't go home again Dorothy...Borden's doesn't seem to be there anymore but I still see Sealtest dairy trucks when we hit Railside Drive.  There's a NO FRILLS but no sign of the Cineplex where Catherine was robbed at the instabank after seeing a movie.  If you're reading this, only use bank machines in broad dayliight where there are lots of people around.  

     Dairy Queen has now turned into Steak Queen.  Holima Chinese Foods is still there, where we used to get our Chinese food on special occasions like New Years.  The KFC is still there where we used to get the 2 for 1 snack packs occasionally.  I'm awash in memories and George is rolling his eyes and acting like I've completely lost it.  What else is new?  The little plaza at Lawrence and Pharmacy is now like an international market and the further we get into Scarborough, it's a new domain.  There's the nursing home where my mom worked and she always seemed to know who was going to die next.  There's what was a MR. DONUT only it's now a car dealership.  No sign of what was the Copper Kettle restaurant. I used to have a Scarborough accent, but I lost it.  If I got one now, I'd have to speak Indian or Chinese... There's where I bought my first electric typewriter.  We had one at home that you had to pound the letters on the keyboard.  There's a scene in JULIE AND JULIA where she puts in two sheets of carbon into the typewriter to make a copy or two which brought back memories.  Now as I type,people can read from all over and I don't have to use carbon.  I see the McGregor Park Library which is the place I remember being taken to and I took out the Freddy the Pig books.  Betsy books.  Three Boys On A Bike or whatever that series was.  When I was a young kid, I used to read a lot.  Nowadays, I probably read about three or four books a year.  Currently reading MILLION DOLLAR MERMAID, an autobiography by Esther Williams.  She's talking about being chased by Johnny Weissmuller (TARZAN) with a constant erection.  Who knew?  She said No.  I would have said Yes, but Tarzan's not chasing me...

     There's what was the A&P, and a restaurant also called The Wexford where Breakfast Television sometimes visits.  There's a place where I used to have one of my first jobs, a warehouse.  I think I thought I was Tom in THE GLASS MENAGERIE where I used to retreat to back areas and write poetry.  The job lasted about three months or so, replacement for someone on a training leave.  I used to pack printed stuff for banks and have it shipped to their various branches across Canada.  All I can remember is that it was called IAC, and the Niagara Finance Company was part of it.  I should Google it and find out what happened to it?  Ironically, the company I work for was owned by another company called IAC.  As I explain all of this, George just rolls his eyes again and again and humours me.  I start to break into "Memories may beautiful and yet too painful to remember...." but I'm not   Barbra.  Eventually we hit Cedarbrae Mall, which has had a makeover as well, since Simpsons went Kaput, and I'm trying to remember what stores were there thirty years ago.  I see a NO FRILLS, a TOYS R US and  a Canadian Tire....  We also pass the plaza where I bought my first show music album.....(DrumRoll please)  Jesus Christ Superstar--a studio cast album I decided I wanted after listening to it in Sunday School.  There's another shocker....I also used to go to Sunday School.  Regularly.  Not like I go to the gym (once every twenty years).  I don't remember too much about it.  I remember getting some kind of prize for memorizing all the books of the old and new testaments, and at one point being asked to read something to the congregation.  God,I could have ended up religious and knocking on people's doors like those boys in ORGAZMO.  We travel further and further into Eastern Scarborough, past Markham Road, Morningside, Meadowvale....all these M words until they start saying BEECHGROVE and MARINA VIEW  and I know I'm  somewhere over the rainbow...or at least in totally new territory where I've never been.  

      There's some kind of road block.  About eight or ten police cars.  We detour and I start to panic.  I don't want to know.  The road eventually turns into a two laner and we come to the End Of The Line.  We walk and follow Lawrence as it turns into Rouge Hills Drive.  We're beside the Rouge River.  I keep telling George if he brought  a canoe, we could paddle upstream and we'd end up at the Toronto Zoo and he could talk to his fellow Woollies.  I get a dirty look.  There are some beautiful houses, some Monster houses and mostly I'm checking out the gardens.  I'm also counting the house numbers.  I googled the address and know we're in for a bit of a hike.  But the sun is out, it's glorious blue sky weather and as of August the fifteenth, Summer Is Finally Here!!!  We get to Gary's house, with   a long driveway.  I feel like I'm Dame Edna on her Neighbourhood Watch.  There's a big window box of geraniums on the side of the house, a few cars in front and no sign of people so we make our way into the back yard and discover about twenty people on the back deck.  Gary said four pm.  It's now four thirty.  Well, we weren't the last to arrive and I don't think it's a big deal.  Though Gary's told me stories about the house before and seen pictures, I've never actually been here and it's nice seeing it all.  

    Most of the guests are members of the Toronto Prime Timers.   Fred  is there.  I never know when I'm going to bump into Fred--we've been casual acquaintances for about 25 years--he was best friends with one of my best friends who passed away in 1990.  I last saw Fred representing PRIMETIMERS  at the travel show last May at Maple Leaf Gardens.  Join the Primetimers!   Of course, you have to admit to being over forty, as that's what the membership starts at.  George would have to admit this, too.  I somehow don't think it's going to happen for a while because Reality hasn't quite Bitten.  I looked them up on the internet, which also had their business meetings posted.  Glad to see they're already planning the Christmas party.  Gary welcomes us and makes a few introductions and offers us drinks.  George goes for a Molson Canadian, which is a nice gesture seeing as how he's from Cyprus.  What I like most about Gary is his sense of humour,akin to Alfred Hitchcock's.  He likes to tell stories with a sense of sardonic humour and you wonder if your leg is being pulled.  Very dry, very funny.  Mostly, he tells it like it is. Gary gives me the grand tour of his home, upstairs and down.  Some of it I've seen before in pictures.  The deck was rebuilt after a tree came crashing down on it and broke a window.  The guys who rebuilt it were amongst the party guests.  If I'd been more like Jessica Fletcher and interviewed the party guests, it might have been more of a discovery of  This Is Your Life, Gary party, but I suspect most of the guests were PrimeTimers.  The life of the party might have been Lorraine, the only woman amongst 27 guests--an enviable position for most women, but she admitted she was a princess amongst queens!  However, everyone's antics were upstaged by a Schnauzer named Gus who ate carrots and celery and enjoyed racing down the considerable length of the back yard.  

     Should I talk about the spread of the food laid before us?  It was a barbecue, but there were trays of shrimp and crab meat, cold cuts, cheeses, vegetable trays with dip.  The thought of inviting 30 people over terrifies me.  Most I've had in my living room was six or seven, and sometimes they weren't' there for the food, but that's Another Story and Another Blog..As Chita Rivera sings in THE RINK, "Some day, I'm gonna tell you about the nights!"   Moving on, .Gary had a pal named Ed (?)  who volunteered to do ALL the cooking and wore a Hershey's apron.  Now you know who your friends ARE who would volunteer for a task like that!!!  Would you like steak or salmon?  I felt like I was at the Keg.  Only better!!  How would you like your steak?   George managed to get TWO steaks.  What the heck?  "He's Prettier!", answered Gary.  Bluntly.  George also sat beside a gentleman named Michael who's also gay, and also blind.  George was thrilled to meet another kindred spirit in his own city that he can relate to.  They chatted about the joys of airline travel and being treated like a princess.  Emails were exchanged.  To be continued.  

     My favorite part of any party is when everyone goes home and there's less people, and everyone is more relaxed.  Why shouldn't we be?  I left out  mentionning the nanaimo bars, grass hopper pie, chocolate eclairs!  Lots more.  And pineapple, melon, watermelon, cantelope, grapes, strawberries!!  I didn't leave any on my plate!II I also checked out the garden--amazing lawn without dandelions going back for quite a while, nice flowers and shrubs, very idyllic!  A little bench semi-hidden by some cedars for lovers to smooch.  Angela Lansbury used to sing "How'd you like to spoon with me?" but no one uses that expression anymore since "sucking face" became popular in On Golden Pond...  I didn't want to be the last one at the party--it was starting to resemble an episode of HARPER'S ISLAND...and bodies were disappearing into the night, so we bid our grateful thanks to  Gary and the rest...

     I caught up with Marlon who belonged to Rainbow Voices and is now part of GUYS LIKE US.  Small gay chorus.  Still can't find the website.  Found three performances on YOU TUBE and am thinking about joining.  Marlon rode his bike with us to the bus stop then headed off for the GO BUS.  Marlon is probably the most physically fit person I know and does the major ride from Toronto to Montreal for an Aids fundraiser for the last three years.  He's also very buoyant and outgoing!  Anyway, it was a great barbecue and we had a wonderful time!!  

    

9:00AM - julie and julia

My sister emailed me to ask me if my blog was dead.  I think that was about two weeks ago.  I didn't answer her.  That would be like admitting it, and I'm not sure I want to give it up completely.  There are a couple of factors.  One.  Blame Work.  Banking disaster that took way too much time and stress to pick up the mess after left me not wanting to look much at a computer in my spare time.  Number two:  Facebook.  Some call it Crackbook because it takes up a lot of your time.  I just find it easier to write two sentences in an update on a daily basis or so like "is trying to find the meaning of life at No Frills at 8am on a Saturday morning" than two or three paragraphs on a blog.  Then there's the privacy issue and how much info I want to put out there.  Anyway, after watching JULIE AND JULIA I hope to give blogging another faithful try. 

     I went by myself.  Last minute decision.  George didn't want to go, and the movie WAS on DVS for at least the first week.  Opportunity is NOT a lengthy visitor, so I decided to go without George.  He wasn't upset.  I also want to see Harry Potter in 3-D IMAX, but it means waiting around downtown after work which I'm not too big on...Other than that, there's not a lot of movies I "NEED" to see.  I sat through those cute ads for MILK.  It doesn't make me drink any more or less milk than I drink.  Then came the coming attractions.  One was for THE STEPFATHER.  Horror story.  Uncharted territory, since Stepmothers have had a bad rap since Cinderella.  I'm going to have to wait a while before I see this one (I know George will drag me...) since the trailer tells the essential story.  John Cusack's also in a disaster movie called 2012 (which essentially shows us the end of the world.  It opens Friday the Thirteenth of November.  Happy Birthday To Me! 

   I was beginning to forget what  movie I was going to see when JULIE AND JULIA began.  Lots of names.  Most importantly, MERYL STREEP.  She's an actress I thought WOW at an early age--and I think it was KRAMER VERSUS KRAMER, because her two minutes in MANHATTAN didn't really count.  I also loved her in THE FRENCH LIEUTENANT'S WOMAN which I kept remembering during this movie.  It's basically two stories that echo and comment on each other.  Julie is a modern day blogger who's working the phone lines after 9/11 and looking for meaning in her life.  She decides she's going to try every recipe in Julia Child's cookbook MASTERING THE ART OF FRENCH COOKING, and there's like over 500 recipes in there.  And then blog about the experiences.  It's a big effort to try to pull off, and the movie also tells the story of Julia Child (la Streep) and her husband played by Stanley Tucci (who played her co-worker/boss? in THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA) and how she's learning French cooking in France.  This is a familiar tale, if you watched Audrey Hepburn break eggs in SABRINA.  In this case, Ms. Child chops onions bringing tears to her own eyes, but all I can smell is buttery Popcorn.  Yes, I armed myself with popcorn.  You can't see a movie about food without having some readily available...

 Ms Child's voice is what?  Peculiar, but as I've never watched her cooking show (time to check out YOUTUBE--there's probably dozens--it's probably authentic enough.  Ms. Streep has said she's tried to emulate her mother's joie de vivre in her performance, but the accent sounds like Joan Plowright a little fried on Chianti.  It always sounds slightly surprised and kind of out of it, so I had problems accepting it dramatically, but it's another feather in the oeuvre of the Divine Meryl's.  The story of Julia Child seems to be a little idealized. 

   The story of Julie the blogger I could relate to much more.  She says she's never actually eaten an egg.  Well, she's eaten them in cakes but not an actual egg by itself.  Me neither.  I think I've had an omelet once or twice to be polite, but I run from Scrambled Eggs and Ham.  Lots of things I live in fear I'll be asked to eat.  The thought of eating all those recipes one after the other just freaks me out, so this was my horror movie, George!  Anyone who has eaten here has probably had one of my repertoire of maybe 20 different meals.  Same, same, same.  I don't know when it started but I started eliminating foods I felt comfortable eating at an early age.  Anyway, this isn't about me.  It's about the movie, and it jumps back and forth between the time periods.  One thing I love about Europe is they don't tear everything down--you can make a period picture there more easily because you just modify the costumes and cut out modern day advertising and cars--the buildings haven't changed so much in forty years.  

    Eventually Frances Sternhagen turns up in a small role and she's starting to look more like Miss Daisy, the role she originated a few decades ago.  When the movie was over, I went to Wikipedia to find out what happened ever after.  The movie gives you a few clues, but it left you wanting more...which is the sign of a good cook and a good filmmaker....

7:31PM - i've written another complaint letter....

Dear Cineplex Management

    I attended I PURITANI today at the Grande Cineplex at 12 pm.  It’s an opera about a woman who gets stranded at the altar and goes a little mad and then ultimately there’s a happy ending. After my 12 pm date at the opera, I went a little mad, and I am depending on your attention to what went wrong to ensure there will be a happy ending next time. There is a lot of attention to details that needs focus. 

The opera at the cinema experiment has proven very successful with the number of crowds that attend at the Grande. While I’ve been attending live opera since 1980, I only recently began attending the performances at the movies since January of this year. I am now kicking myself for not attending because they are such a fabulous overwhelming experience, being up close to the performers. It’s a new high for Toronto. I was aware that they Met was repeating some broadcasts in the States and was looking on the website for the last two weeks to see if there would be a Canadian tie-in. I only noticed I PURITANI by chance in the Friday listings, so you need to tell your marketing department about this. This might explain that it was the least attended film opera yet. There might have been fifty or sixty people in the auditorium. If you tell them, they will come. 

    I came early to buy a ticket thinking it might be sold out. The #1 theatre did NOT have air-conditioning. They were playing ads without sound for FOREVER PLAID, and I read my one sheet synopsis. At about seven minutes after the hour, it became apparent that there was some kind of sound problems to be worked out. About quarter after 12, it was announced that the film would not be shown in the theatre, and we were moved to theatre #3. 

As we entered, we noticed both sound and AIR CONDITIONING. The manager Dennis went around with apologies and distributing free passes for the next special event, and the opera started at 12:30. Okay, so it didn’t start on time. I can live with that. 

    The opera began, and after the credits came the opening chorus of soldiers. I didn’t know what they were singing about, but I thought maybe it wasn’t that important. When the principals began singing, there was no SUBTITLES. My knowledge of Italian can barely get me through the menu at Il Fornello’s. “Houston, We Have A Problem!” I ran out into the lobby and there was really no one about. I called to the beverage bar and shouted where’s the MANAGER several times. She said “Down the hall to the left!”   I went down the hall, and found an anteroom that seemed to lead to some elevators. There were two locked doors that said “Sprinklers’ and “Stars” or something but no sign of a manager’s office. I went back, calling out for a manager, an usher and there was NO ONE actively around. I went down the escalator to the ticket taker, followed by another gal who was upset by the performance on screen. The ticket taker understood the situation and began to make a phone call. As I made my way up the escalator, I saw the manager coming up. I explained what the situation was. That the opera is normally shown with SUBTITLES, and that this is pretty essential to the understanding of what is going on in the opera. As this was previously broadcast, it’s probably on a dvd projector, and all they have to do is find the right buttons and push them. The manager said it wasn’t that simple a solution and it had to do with “the Feed” of the program.   The other person was complaining actively about the colour composition as well.

     I returned to the opera and waited for a lull in the music and announced to the group of bewildered patrons that management was “working” on the resolution of the SUBTITLES. It was then that I noticed that the colour was kind of off for something that was a live program. The colours seemed washed out and faded—everything seemed to have a pinkish glow. The light green dress of the heroine would seem whiteish or pink depending. I shrugged my shoulders, but was getting frustrated trying to remember what the story was from the brief synopsis I’d read. 

The SUBTITLES didn’t come in until the third scene of act one. Try solving a murder mystery if you’ve missed the first thirty minutes without sound. It’s kind of like that. It spoiled the performance for me. And it gets weirder. And sure enough, fixing the dvd was apparently easy. They shut the screen, went back to the Opening Titles, and you saw someone push the button for SUBTITLES, and then push the button for ENGLISH. Why was this so hard to fix when the problem was pointed out in the first scene of the opera? 

     When they turned on the SUBTITLES, I noticed something had changed with the speakers. The sound had stopped coming from the left side and was only coming from the wall half way down the right side of the auditorium. It made it seem like the people were singing “off stage” sometimes, even though they were right in front of you. Even though the speakers were working at the beginning, after the switch to the SUBTITLES, the performance of the sound had changed. Was it worth trying to seek out someone to fix this again? It drove me a little mad, but decided I didn’t want to miss any more of the opera, such as it was. I also noticed the patron in front of me leave to never come back about this point. She was under 40. In a crowd like this, you notice the young ones. 

    Normally when the Met at the Cineplex plays, they have intermissions. Even at the Re-broadcasts. In this case, because they were playing dvd, it was as if they just plugged it in and then left the building. When each act came to an end, there was a brief interview and then on to the next act. Let me tell you about your audience for this kind of event. It’s mostly the Geritol and Depends set, with most ages from fifties to eighties. If you’re watching a three hour opera, these people need Bathroom Breaks!! Heck, even when they played regular movies like THE SOUND OF MUSIC or FIDDLER ON THE ROOF, there was an intermission in the Movie Theatre!   So this is what happens. All these old people are moving around as carefully as they can in the dark, and I’m praying they don’t slip and fall on the stairs as they make their trips to the loo. Think of the law suits that could be avoided, simply by having someone in the projector room somewhat familiar with the product, hitting the PAUSE button after the interview section, and having a staff member announce there will be a fifteen minute break!  What instructions were given to the staff about how to run these events when the previous ones have gone off perfectly well without a hitch??

    The opera comes to an end, and the credits have stopped. Now we’re back sitting in the dark looking at the Home Page of the DVD. No one is turning on the lights. Old people are about to slip and fall as they exit if someone doesn’t do something because at this point they have to leave. I run out to the lobby and start screaming MANAGER again like the boy who keeps crying WOLF. This is not the way this performance should end. 

While they had previously arranged a wine and cheese reception that was announced before anyone was aware of the foul-ups to occur, I am upset at the lack of professionalism abandoned for this showing. If it happened at this showing, I am hoping that it went off successfully at other CINEPLEX venues, but based on how it was handled here, who knows? I expressed my concerns that I’ve mentioned today to the manager, Dennis afterwards, but I think this needs to be brought to corporate attention for you to ensure the future professionalism of your presentations. 

    I am an opera at the movies fan, and plan to attend future showings. I am hoping “Attention Will Be Paid” to what I have said and that you will frankly be on top of things for the next outing.